YANKEE DOODLE ON ADVERTISING.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume I, Issue 1, 4 July 1861, Page 2 (Supplement)

YANKEE DOODLE ON ADVERTISING.

If a chap was to fall into a well up to his neck, I kinder reckon he might shiver till he shook his teeth out without any one coining to his aid unless he sung out “ Murder!” or something else, so as to alarm lus wife and bring her to rescue. Just so it is in regard of merchandise. A man. may have his shop full of goods, but if no one knows it, what does it benefit him ? He may have two or three or a dozen local customers, but to fetch a crowd he must call a crowd, and the only way to call ’em is to sound the news in that etarnal trumpet—the newspaper. Advertising poods is just like snorin’ or takin’ a cryin’ baby to church. If you sleep in church, and don’t snore, how’s folks in the back seats or in the gallery to know that you are there ? And in regard to the baby, folks would never know that you could raise one, if when nurse takes him to church he did’nt begin to let off steam. Hut when he yells out good and strong, every body, parson and all, feel mighty good; they look at him, and say to themselves, “ Fine baby that, by hokey! A regular rhinossercrom, by gum!” The more he hellers, the more people know it, the more people think about you, they read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest what you say, and then they go and see you. One would imagine a chap who never advertised his goods had stolon them somewhere, and was afraid the owner would, as he seen them advertised, come and claim his property ; there may be such' a thing. If a man who is afraid to advertise is afraid to look an honest public in the face, that’s veracity ; and they are just as feered of him. I’m always suspicious of a chap that has a store full of goods and never spends a cent in making people aware of it; he is either a big fool or a big knave. When such a coon is likely enough to get a good customer, he’d ’ort to take a daggrytipe of him sure, for it aint likely he’ll see him agin in a hurry, for you see the man that don’t advertise never sells twice to the same person ; he sells so little that he has to charge like thunder to be able to live. He is so stingy that he would let his baby out to a beggar at a penny a day, and if he ever gave a blind man a cent it would be sure to be a bad one. His store smells so musty with his six-years-old, moth-eaten, fly-speckled, old-fashioned goods that it is enough to knock a negro down to go into it, let alone a lady. You see goods is like gals ; they must go when they are in the fashion and good lookin’, or else a yoke of oxen would’nt draw ’em off afterwards. The man that advertises most does most business, because he does’nt make one stock last one life-time. I know a merchant of this district who has imported three different batches of goods within a year from Europe, and none of your schooner loads either each time, and now he’s nearly sold out again. How does he and his partner get rid of so many goods ? They advertise more than all the others put together; that’s the how ; I can prove it. If you want to borrow money,—if you want to lend money,—if you want a farm to rent, —if you have one to sell, —advertise. If your hoss, pig, colt, sheep, oxen, or husband go astray, advertise them right off, and not run the' chance of loosin’ ’em altogether, or havin’ to pay as much as they are worth in charges for their keep. If you are a shoemaker, tailor, blacksmith, or waggon-maker, show people that you are not ashamed of bein’ a mechanic by advertising. If you keep an hotel, make it known. If you see a man advertise, they know he’s a business man. The world is full of folks who want. Some want to sell —some want to buy, and the only way to meet these wants and make money is to advertise. Advertising is like honesty—it pays well if followed im. Merchants think nothing of paying forty dollars for one sign, with nothing hut their name on it. \Vell, what do you think of having two thousand signs a week in a newspaper. In it you can show- your whole establishment to the country every week. If yon are wise, Just rub your eyes. And advertise. —Niagara Mail .