HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 73, 18 December 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

# u mmt n mm ijn n i . | A musical-comedy star, no long«r «youthful, joined a touring company, Business was not very 'good, and tempers suftered accordingly." Eelations became somewhat strained between the star hnd the juvenile lead. There came a knock at the star'a door. "Who is it, and what do you wantf " she demanded, sharply. * "There 's a lady in frOnt who'd very much iike to see you. She says she was , at sehool with you. Shall I show her in!" From the eorridor came the voice of the juvenile lead: "Wheel her in!"

The guards received as & recruit' a young man of education who had failed • to make good in- other vocations. On his first day on the parade ground he waj exhausted by, several hours of marching up and down. "Stand at.ease!" ordered the officer at last. "How wonderful is death! " muttered the" recruit. The officer turned like a flash. "Who said that!" he demanded. The culprit smiled wanly as "h# ieplied: "Shelly, I believe, sir."

A Manchester commercial traveller met another "knight of the. xoad'* in the dining car. "Of course, you're from Lancashire!" said the latter. The Manchester man replied that he was, and asked why the question had been asked. "Oh, I was just accounting for your accent," was the Teply. , Then the Manchester man said: "And where do you come from!""Worcester," replied the other, innocently. "Ah, well," xemarked the other, "now I can account for your sauce."

He" had, been celebrating Tather too well and sat at the" restaurant table more or less oblivious of his surroundings. The waitress said, "Order, please!" No Teply. "Order, please!5? she asked again.this time more loudly. The man cast a defiant hut sleepy look npwards. "Why should I keep order!" he murmured. "I'm not making a noise! "

Gtocer: "Did the bacon I sent you do for the whole family?" "Very nearly. The doct#K itiO . calls."