HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 61, 4 December 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

j| Waming i It happened *t the Zoo. From the fealmost colid masB of people on one side %i the elephant-walk tbere darted a emall boy who paused, bun in band, in jhe traek of tbe big elephant. ^ Just as tbe animal-extended its trunk Wfc* tabe tbe bun tbere came a barassed %oiee from tbe crowd: "Mind, Willie *l i jl i Mind 'e don't sting you! "

f , Safe ! The vhsitor frohi .tbe: great ©pen ipacei wat discussing tbe world '3 Tail,way« with bit English friend. "Tou m&y think your, railways are tbe aafest in tbe world, bnt Trber© I 00510 from it is impossibla to have a pollisioaon tbe line," be said, proudly. "I don't aee bow you make tbat aut," said. tbe otber ia amazement. 'It's quite simpley" said tbe visitor. M We bave only one train."

j Older tbe Better j "I'm sixty years old," said a twealthy man. to bis friend, "and I want your advise. Do you think it would be better to tell a certain lady, whom I would like to carry, tbat I am fiftyf " "Well," said bis friend, "if you want me to "be quite frank, I tbink your ebances of getting ber would be better if you told ber you wero seventySve."

Hurry A farmer was walking down a lane wben suddenly a man came running up t ^ to bim pgmting f or breatb. "Hey, gUv'nor, tbere 's a bull running wild," be gasped. "Which way did it go?" asked tbe farmer. "You don't fancy I'm cbasing tbe blessed tbing, do you!" said tbe man, scornfully.

Tolled! A traveller seeking advertisements for a local paper called at tbe village grocer's. Upon presenting bis card, be was surprised wben tbe grey-beadcd proprietor said, "Nothing doing. Been establisbed eigbty years, and never advertised. ' ' Turning to leave, tbe traveller said, "Excuse me, sir, but wbat is tbat building on tbe bill!" "Tbe village cburcb," said tbe grocer. "Been tbere long?" asked tbe traveller. "About tbree hundred years." '•"Well," feplied tbe traveller, "tbey still ring tbe belL"