HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 55, 27 November 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

| X young ama who was anxious to jharn swimming made little prqgreasi jffcwiag to Ms panic in deep water. ? "Yotx know," suggested tlxe instrucfljfer helpfully, "you ought to get a pair •pt wings," t "I expect I s-shall, ' ' panted the beiflfcmtr U he clung desperately to tlie nide of the bath; "and- a h-h-harp as well «dd boy." ...

1 The cruiser captain had to deal with three penitent-looking young bluejaeketa who had overstayed their shore - leerft, Aa they eeemed unable to give an excus© he prompted them primly in kurzu *Wine and women, I irapposef" to Ika Arai* Agreement eonveyed. "Wine mad women, I supposet" to the secend. Anent giyen. To the * third: "Wine and women, I supposef " 1 He xeceired the answer in * earef oi Sroieei "In my case, sir, wine only."

j IX earpenter, sent to carry out eome jkepaira, entexed the apartment of the ;lady of ,the honse with his apprentice. | "Mary," the woman called.to her maid, "sea that my jewel case is locked: atoneet" h The caipenter nnderstood* He removed hia Watch and chain f rom his waist* coat with a aignificant air, and gave them to his .assistant. "John," he said, "take .these back te the ehop. It seems* that this house isn'fc safe."

The blonde chorus girl had made • quite a hit in America. She was asked • here, there, and everywhere, and „ oue evening f ound herself at a literary sup-per-party. "With a blank smile she listened to a lot of talk about Aldous Huxley, Somerset Maugham, Bernard Shaw, and other British authors. Then someone mentioned H. G, Wells, and her face brightened. "We-don't think much of Wells over in England," she said firmly* "Whom do you mean by 'we'f" asked one of the American guests. The chorus girl looked at him sweet- ' 'Mother and I," she said.

She was arrayed for the theatre. "Sorry to have kept you waiting so long, Mr Spoonamore," she said, "but it has taken me longer than usual to get xeady. I look like a f right in this hat, too." He was vaguely desirous of saying something complimentary. , "It isn't the— er-r-fault of the lovely hat, I am sure, Miss Hankinson," ~o bluadered,