HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 26, 23 October 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

K> •' Cheaper. been saving and serapingi P*y his paasaga back'to* England^ ;»nd as the liner glided into tlie dock M Idverpool he glowed with ple&sure. As'he leaned over the side he saw a divercome up from tio depths and clamb'erinto a boat; "Lumme! " gasped -Albert. •• "That iellow's walked it! " $> ^ $• ••• Donald: "Ye promised me saxpence If I was top boy at school, au' I've ueen top boy two weeks running." $ Father (reluctantly)' "Well, here's a sMlling, but ye must gi'e np studyin' 90 hard. It's np guid for. yet. ' '

Tommy came out of a room in which |ii father was tacking down a carpet. He wa& crying lustily. "Why, Tommy, whai '3 "ihe matter!" taked his mother. * 'D-d-dad Mt Ms finger with ihe hammer, ''aobbed Tommy. . "Well/you needn't cry at a thing like that," comforted his mother, *'Why iidn't you laughf " "X did," sobbed Tommy. ' **YouJve been worrying mP foi! five years now because you weren'tas welldressed as Mrs SmaTt next door," said Hobson. "Wellf " demanded Mrs Hobson. ••Well, he's failed — can't pay his 3ebts!" ' & * 'Did he owe you anything!" «'No!" "Humph! I can't see what that has io do with my clothes!"

A business man, seeing a friend sitting disconsolately looking out of a window/ asked him: "What's the matter with. you!" ' « *T promised my wife a Pomeranian. The best price I.can get one for is £5, and it's.too much," was the xeply. "You're'right, I can sell you one for £2." ■ // ' 4IUne!?{ said the other. "When can you letime -have it!" . "Just.a minute. I J11 find out/' said the man «of business, and rushed out to a public- telephone. Getting his partner/he said: * "Listen! I've sold a fellow a Pomeranian for £2. What's a Pomeranian! 5 ' $• £ The Loadon-Aberdeen, express neared its destination. "It's been a long and tiring journey, hasn't it?" said the Englishman. "Aye,/7 agreed, the Scotsman, . *'an' sae it ought to be for the money."

The teacher was trying to give her small pupils a mental picture of a Barrel witiiout disclosing the name of the iirticle. - ''The objeet I have in mind, ' ' she "Splained, ''is large and round, being neaTly as big one _way as the other, nnd if laid' on its side and started at Ihe top of a MU, it would roU to the oottom, jSTow, who can tell -what it is!" - . A little hand went up, and the teacli•r .Said, "All- right, Harjorie; what do . ou thihk I was describing?" ^'My dad^y!" came the unexpected •eply. ❖ S> S> Said the young man: "Dq you think vour father would object to my maxryingyoul" "I don't know," the girl replied, coldly. *'!£ he-'s any thing like me he would.'*