HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 20, 16 October 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

Well Hnown, { 1 jAtntie had given the Kttle girl a floHi what axe you going to ©all Bhe asked. j. *€8rshe," replied the ©hild. *•' *6irshe? I've never heard that ftonM "before." don Tt ypu remember that song taught me — 'Where aTe yoiu going ||i jny pretty maidf Ibn going a-milk-hig, Sirshe said." ' *

- — 7-"-"" " • ijg ' TO Q aood to Loos. d«cid«d to take young Sharpe ijrti my business as soon as he and my Ssnghter get baek from their honeyTmoon,*1 -41Bu^ t thought yon- had no. tima for m feUow!" . *T ehanged my mind. I told him he tetr«ldn/t have her unless he had £5,000 tho ,bankr He asked me to put that fntoi writing, when he borrowed the money.'on the strength of becoming my aon-in-law, Such business ability must "be pufc to ti

No Eeserves The would-be defender of the Empire was passed into the barracks by ;the sentry at the gate and given instructions where to go to receive admission into the ranks of the Army. TJnfortunately, heTost his way, and wandered about among the barrack buildings xtntil he met a sergeantmajor. "Hullo, my lad!" said the latter, "what do you want?" •'Please, mr, I've eome for a soldier," answcxed the youngster, slightly Tuffled. "Can't have one, son. They're all'on parade."

"Mother," said little Maxy, "they are going to teach ns domestic silencs at scheol now." "Don't you mean domestic science?" inquired her mother. Then father interrupted: "There is a baTe'hope our little girl means what she is saying."

HUMOUR j Over! . A cricket match was being played in a village in Oxfordshire. Towdrds thc end of the villagers' team there came a man who had only one leg-guard, and he was wearing it on the wrong ieg. "Do you know you've got your pa'' on the wrong leg?" asked a playef. « The villager looked at himself, then up and down the wicket, and replied: "That's as may be, but when I put it on that feller was bowlin' t 'other end. ' '

Help! The car swerved across the street, mqunted the pavement, and crashed into the plate-glass window • of thc shop. . . The driver, a young and pretty girl, climbed out of her seat, to be questioned by the stolid police-sergeant. "Surely," said the limb of the law, sternly, " surely on a wide road like this you could have done something to avoid an accidentt" "Oh, but I did!" said she, tragically. "I sereamed as loudly as I could."

Verdict. A vicar visiting his parishioners found two of them at the house of the village lawyer, whom he cohsidered had not too honest a practice. ■ As the vicar entered, the lawyer put a very embrassing question to him, "Ah, Viear," he said, "these are members of your flock, I believe. Tell me, do you look upon them as black sheep or white?" The vicar was too shafp to be caught that way. "I don't know whether they aro white sheep or black," he replied .with a smile, "but I do know that if they are here long they are pretty sure to be fleeced-"

Letters. The two men had met at the ©lub, and one had just told the other that his wife was on holiday. "Do you send her many letters while 6he 's away ? " he was asked. "Oh, no," was the rcply, "chiefly notes — from £1 upwards."