HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 8, 2 October 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

No Hurry • The college professor lectured on the distribution of world population. He* mentioned that otoly in the West Indies were males in excess of females. _ "A happy state of affairs," he said playfully. ' 'Not unlike the state which existed in this community- of ours before women under-graduates were admitted. ' ' At this point several women students, affecting to be ofiended, ross to leave the class. ' 'Oue moraent, please, ' ' said the lecturer. "There is no occasion to go yet; the next boat for the West Indies doesn't leave for another week." ' '

That's Better! The editor of a newspaper was annoyed with oue of his country correspandents beeause the man always left out names in his stories. He wrote the correspondent to say that if he neglected this important dets.il in his next despatch he would be sacked. A few days later the editQr received the following story from the country: — "A severe storm passed over the villiage this afternoon, and ' lightning struck a farni belonging to Wiljiani Jones, killing three cows, their names being Betty, Maudie, and Buttercup."

Both Wrong . Two young mcn had been invited out to dinner by their employer. Diiring the meal the conversation drifted into channels which got the young frienda into rather deep water. "Do you care for Omar Khayyamf" asked their. ho6t, thinking to discovei tho literary tastes of the. young -mcn. "Pretty well," replied. the- one -addressed, ''but, personally, I- prefer Chianti." The subject was abandoned, but on the way home the other said to his chum: "Why don't yop say you don't know when you're asked sOmething you don't understand? Omar Khayyam isn't a wine, you idiot, It's a kind of cheese."

Desperate. "Does my practising make you nervous?" asked the man who was learning to play a saxophone. ' 'It did when Lfirst heard the neighbours discussing it," replied the man /next door, "but now I don't care what happens to you."

TJrgenL A negress walked into an insurance ofli'-e aud inquircd, "Does you liab any oi' dut Jirc t'.ssurancc heali?" "We do, " said the clerk. "What do you viT.nt insni'cdt " "-dali husbaiid. " "Tlien you don't ivant fire insurance," said the clerk. "What you want is a life insurance policy." "No, Ah don't," tho woman exclaimed. "Ah wants fire assurance. Dat nigger 's been fired f o ' times iu de 1m' two wccks."