HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 2, 25 September 1937, Page 13

HUMOUR

, Ihe . party was going with a swing, = and, es a great treat, seven-years-old ■ Betty had been allowed to stay up late. • As the evening wore on, she became ve'ry quiet, and, finally, her weary voice was heard piping up : • "I think I 'd liko to go. to bed ndw, iuumiuy. I'm tired of this night life."

The teacher 1783 explaining the difference between the stately rose and the modest violet. "You see, children/' she said, "a beautiful, well-dressed woman walks • . along the street, but she is proud and does not greet anybody — that is the Tose. -But behind her comcs a small creature with bowed head- 33 "Yes, miss, I know, ' ' Tommy interlupted. "That's her husband."

The thrifty wife had persuaded her ' ' Jrasband to buy a small cask of beer instead of going each evening to the local pub. When'he had drunk the first glass his wife said, "Now, John, lad, you can reckon you've saved a penny." "You 're right, lass, ' 3 he replied. "X '11 draw another one and make it twopence we've saved.- At this xate I'll soon be able to buy thee a f ur coat."

A Don who had been occupied for niany days in the preparation of examination papers 'was asked to read tbfc lesson at daily prayers.. It was the passage containing the Ten» Command-' mpnts. In a fit of abstraction at the end of the xeading the doii, added: "Only five of th^se, need be attempted."

The squirc was,, playing crickct for the village • eleven. It was a brcezy day, and the fast bowler with the wind behind his back was almost unplayable. He sent down one ball to the squiro whicli just grazcd the bail aud carried i i away. The batsman, witli the utmo.st sangfroid, remained in liis crease and. picking up the fallen bail, remarked threatenirigly to the umpire, "Devilish windy to-day, George. " The umpire replied, dryly, "Yes, sir, [ •t is. But I'm not. And you're out." I