HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 202, 11 September 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

|* r Apol(Ogy. , it 3C Sfaiple person saw a parrot on the goof of Ms cottage. » He climhed np to capture it. The parrot looked at Mm and said, 3yti»**\Vhat do you want?" Yhe countryman touched Ms cap. *®eg pordon, sir, I thought you was a hira," ^ 8> S> J> Embarrassing. §he -was giving a bridge party, and when the patter of tiny feet Was heard ppstairs sh.e xaised her hand f or silence. "Hush," she said, "the children are going to give their good-night message. It always gives me such a feeling of jeverence to hear them. Listen." There was a moment of tense silence; tjhen, shrilly, "Mnrrimy, Willie's found a flea! ' '

Deceiver. 3fe£ old farm hand and Ma wife were fcelebrating their golden wedding. A reporter from the local paper called to effei! eongratulations and interview the old couple* mnderstand you hrought np seven fcfdldren on 16s 6d a week, Mr Gill?" gaid ihe reporter. •■Hush, not sq loutfl** .whispered tho old man anxionsly^ '1 always told BeGn4a6 1 only got 16s 3d a weeM3**- ' ^ ^ ^ ^ M 1:1 ig5"* SHiinlf # Over, lEtffitdtton-r-the strange instincf that f ells a woman she is xight, .whether she jLs or mti Epitap&f 3®S wafk&cLfm! $he suieide 6? the xoadj 'ftn felderly Mayf ais hTitler iclaims he^s fcerving Ms third jdegeneration. People wha h&vo half an hotu! to Bpare usually ispend it with somebody WhO hasn'tDignity Ig Onel ihingj that can'l he preserved Sn Blcoholi

Lahour in Vain. JEha water-pipe had burst in the bathroom, ,The head of the house was doing Ms best-to stem ihe flow with Ms hands pending the arrival of the plumerj Suddenly Ms small son burst into the bathroom and shouted, excitedly: "You can let ga pf the pipe now, dad.'1 "Thank goodness," exelaimed father. "Is the plumber here?" '"Noj" was ihe reply* "The. house is on fire!"

Not I*ar Off. in a Negro school there was one boy *so Iblack that even the other pupils called him "Midnight. ' 3 All rfent well until another pupil came to the school who was only a f ew fchades lighter than "Midnight. 5 ; On being called his nickname, ' 'Midnight,3^ "by the new pupil, the black one answered: "Listen heah, you don't cal] me "Midnight.3 You's about half-past eleven yo3self;3a /2v /2s /2s /2s

^Good lieavens! 33 said Mr Newlywecl, seeing bxoken croekery all over tho iloor. -"What ever has happenedi33 Mrs Newlywed explained: "TMs cookery book says that any old cup without a handle will do for measuring, and it3s taken me eleven shcits to get the handle off without breaking the cup.33