HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 184, 21 August 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

"An English comedian who prided him- ; feelf on Ms ability to speak the Scottish* dialect like a native was invited to a dinner party by an Edinburgh man. During the evening the comedian told some stories in his best Scots accent, and tben, tbinking to spring a surprise on the party, he said to his host, ' ' What part of Scotland would you say I came from?'*-" ' ,The host looked dubious. "Leeds?" he asked. ')

HOW'S THAT Two local teams were playing a match in aid of charity, and a well-known eounty batsman promised his services. Everybody turned up to help the good cause and see the crack batsman knock the leather off. He came in, let drive at the first ball and missed, whereupon the wicketkeeper whipped off .the bails and yclled "Howzat?" The nmpire shook his head, although many thought'the batsman was out. Exactly the same thing happened next ball, and before the end of the over the batsman again lashed out and missed. Off came the bails with a Tesounding cry of "Howzat?" The nmpire went up to the stumper •'Not hout," he s&id, "and lookee here, it'» 'im they've all paid to watch, not theei"

A Welsh clergyman, preaching before an English congregation, "whieh he took to be not too well educated, gave out hi® text in English and then said: "It is rather interesting to hear it in the original Hebrew," whereupon he repeated it in Welsh. Pleased with the impression it appearcd to makc, he went on: "The Greek version is also significant," and said some thing else in Welsh. Everything seemed to be going eplendidly, until a man at the back of the ehurch, a Welshman, stood up and was about to protest when, likc lightning, the preacher forestalled him. "Most interest of all, however," he proclaimed loudly, ''is the Arabic. It is as follows: — And Jthis time he said in Welsh "Shut up, my friend! Don't give me away! " The man at the back sat down again.

In a wild and woolly West town a boy reached the age of fourteen withoufc ever having spoken a word. One day he was loafing around the corral where they were branding the calves, and somehow, managing to get in tho way of the man who was handling the branding irons, he got burned pretty badly on the seat of his pants. As he felt the xed-hot iron, the dumb lad shoutcd, "Ouch!" Naturally, thcre as terrilie excitemcnt, and tho man who had burned him vried: "A miraclel Dummy trikcd; Jle's found his voice! " But the lad spoko again. "Miracle nothin'," he said. "I must never. had nothin' to say before." J> S> $> Daddy kissed his little daugliter good night after a long day on the links. When he hhd gone, the child turned to her mofher and exclaimed: "Oh, Mnmmy, doesn't Daddy smell of golf!"