HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 178, 14 August 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

^ - — ^ ^ Mr and Mrs Solomsfcein were walking j Some ieoet their nephew 3s birtliday »> partyj protested the woman, "vot do you mean by being so generous all at voncei . ^ou spent five slxilling on tha jigsaw puzzle you gave as a present to younglsaae, and tben — iu front of 'em all— you told tbe boy tbat as soon as lie had got tbe puzzle fixed up xigbt be xaust show it to you an' you'd buy bim anotherl33 Mr Solomstein smiled. ''It is all rigbt, Kachel,33 be said, xjeassuringly. "It sounded generous in front of the eompany, but — I3ve got.von sf tbe pieces in my pocbet! 33

^ 2701 SO BAD iThS little cburch was fuH, but. tbe nrarriage ceremonyseemed in danger of being ^ftoppedj for the bridegroom yras fleaf* Tbe jelergyman raised his aroice "Wiltt tbou bave tbis .woman fo* tby lawful wedded wifel'1 This.aeemed to annoy the.-bridegroom. "Oh, 3 don3fc knowa" he said. "She len3£ so awfuL I3ve geen worse tban her tbat didn3£ bave half as jnucb « S ft SS ^ AWRWAED "My busband is .very mean, dear," coafided a wife to ber friend, ''Do you know, b© took all tbo money out of baby's money-box.33 "How shoeking!" exclaimed ber lisfener. "Yes, and just when tbere was enougb for tbe new bat I wanted.53

SERVIOE An Englisb tourist entered a xestauranfc in Paris and by mcaxxs of a few scraps of French was able to order dinner. Presently be tbougbt be would like some mushrooms, and, not knowing tbe name, be asked for a pieee of paper and sketcbed one. Tbe waiter pondered for a moment, disappeared and returned a few minufes later witb an umbrella. s> s> !> GETTING IT RIGHT - A woman fravelling by train was talMng witb tbe man in the next seat. In desexibing ber boliday, sbe said tbat she bad visited San Jose. "You pronounce that wrong,33 said tbe man. "It is San Hosay. In Oalifornia you should" pronounce all J's as H3s. When wero you there?33 Tbe woman tbougbt a minute, tben nns"we"red, "In Hlxne'and Huly. 3 3 » ' »JP

CRASH! The Jones family bad a maid who was hcavy-handed and awkward. Sbe was ulways bx'caking tbings. Once tbe city experienccd a sligbt carthquake. Pielures were tbrown down and -furniture and crockery rattled about. During tbe tumult tbe mistress went, to tbe bead of tbe stairs and ealled down. in a patient, forbeariDg voie.es- — "Well, Liza, wbat are you- doing now ?"