HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 160, 24 July 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

«rn»u boy was late for. Sunday leeheol and the minister inquired the «nie. "I -ro* going fishing, but father woulcln't letme," said tHe boy/" "Th&t's the. right, kind of father to hsve," xeplied the minister; "and did ha explain why you were not to go?" "Yes, sir. He said there wasn't enough bait- for both of ua. " "You are drinking too much, You '11 have to give it up," the doetor told his patientf "Well," he answered, "and what am I to tell my wife is the matter with met" "Tell her you are suffering from ^acopation. That '11 satisfy her/* But the wife was so mystified that ihe looked up "syncopation" in the dicMonaxy. This is what she Tead: — * Trregular movement from bar to bar."

Bad Luck " A m&n walking along oue of the main. atreets in Dublin happened to put his hand in his poeket as he wa* approach*' iag an old Irish-woman. 3/all of expectntion, ehe poured forth a flood of •loquenee. "And may the blessing of Heaven fgllow after ye all your days, ' Jy ihe fin* lehed upl Then as he drew ont his hand* larchief and passed on ueing it, she addefl, "'Anji " niver cafcc-h upvnd ye- " ♦ " ♦ ^ ❖ "I «ay, waiter, call the manager; 1 cam't eat this awful stuff . ' ' "It's no use, sir, he wouldn't.eat it' either."

Tough "I wish to complain," said Mrs Newlywed, "about the fiour you.sold m'e. It was tough." ".Tough, ma'am!" asked the astonished grocer, "Yes, tough! I made a p_ie with it and my Imsband could haxdly eat ii." &. ® ^ Doing His Bit. The viilage fire ohief was putting a new Tecruit through his pacei. . "As you Jmow, we 've only one engine at the station," he said. "Now supposing we were called away to a fire, and while you were left alone at the station. another fire -broke out. What would you do about the second callt" The new recruit thought hard. "I hnow, sir," he said/at last. "I'd try to keep the other fire going until ybu got back from the first one."

More Than Square. A xeekless young xnotorist had run over a chicken. To his dismay, an old viilager, stern and forbidding, came upon the scene immediately. Before he could utter a word the motorist drew out a ppund note. "Here, this will square mattcrs," ho said, apologetically. "Thanks, master. Now I shall be abie to keep chickens myself. ' ' ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ "You watit six pairs of trousers with this suit?" asked the tailor in surprise. "Yeg. Somebody gave ma a fullgrown Alsatian for a birthday prescnt,M