HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 142, 3 July 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

The farmer7s daughter was eoming »p ihe lane. She was clad in griaiy overalls, from the pockets of which bnlged bunches of waste and sundry wrenches, sorewdrivers and other tools, In her hand was a dirty satckel of iron tools. "Where are you going, my pretty taaid?" asked a passer-by. "I'm going a-milking, sir. 7 7 "But why all the tools, my pretty ' maid?7' ' 'Trouble with tlie darn milking tiacMne again." ® ^ ^ ^ "MacTavish must have had a lot of drink at tlie smoking eoncert last night." "How7s that?" "Well, when I was taking Mm home ke let me fall twice.'7 i

Wrong Paea The im&ll hotel was «rowded and the I Irishmaa had to share a xoom with a I Negro. Duxing the night a practical I joker blacked the Ixishman's face. Getting np in a hurry in the morning, I Pat canght sight of himself in the mirxor. Puzzled, he stood for a moment gazing at his refleetion. "Begorral'7 he said^ at length. •They've woke the wrong mant" >€>$♦ "It says here that a man in Af riea I . exchanged his wife for a horse,77 said I Mrs Bobson, reading her newspaper. "You wouldn't exchange me for a horse, would you, dear?" j "No,77 xeplied her husband, ''but I I hope nobody tempts me with a motor- I ■ear.' 7

An Irishman was relating to some friends how one night, on retiring to bed, he faneied he saw a ghost, and, having a revolver handy, he fired' at it. 'Ihe next morning he examined-the object he had shot and discovered it to be his shirt, "Wkat did you do then?' 7 asked one of the company. "Bedad, I just breathed a prayer of thankfulness that I wasn't inside it!" ❖ 8> 4 He was a very bad sailor, and the stewaxd was trying to cheer him up. "Don7t be downhearted, sir,77 he said to the sufEering passenger, "seasickness never Mlled anyone yet.* ' "Bon't say that," moaned the prostrate one. "It7s only the hope oi dying j that's kept me alive so far! "

Not So Simple A simple-looking lad stoppeu beforo a blacksmith'g shop on his way home ' from school, and eyed the doings with wonderment. After a time, as the lad would not go away, the smith laughingly held a piece of red-hot iron nnder the youngster's nose, hoping to make him beat a hasty xetreat. "Hi, guv'nor, if you give me sixpence I711 liek it,'7 said the lad. . The smith took the money from liis pocket and held it out. The youngster took the coin, lickcd it, dropped it in his pocket, ran away.