HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 107, 22 May 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

There had been a big party," and ihe ■ftaid of^the house wa? describing it to the kitchen "help." "Tbey had, a wonderful spxead, " she * explained. "Roast pheasant, wine, and. two hinds of pudding.. And the cloth.es they worel" She , sighed enviously. "Lovely fur coats, diamond bracelets *nd rihgs." " "Wbat did.they do af terwards ? " ' asked tbe "help." . . . . "Oust sat round and talked," ' ihe maid replied. ' "Whatdid tbey talk about? " "Ua!" '

was » very absent-minded profespor, and while a happy event was taking place, be started to work to take bis mind off tbings. He became very iengrotsedy and wljen. tbe: nurse came down later and s&id: "It's a boy, sir, ' ' he Tf.marked, testily* — "WeH, wby bother me about it? Ient t&j wife afc home?"

A millionaire of the vulgar aort took Jus two young sons to a menagerie. After tbey bad seen.all tbe animals tbe millionaire ealled for tbe manager. " ■H>rr mucb d'yer want lor tbe 'ole lott My boys want 'em." "Nothlng doing— but I'll buy your boys. "

"I .was bitten by a dog the other day/f s*id tbe visitor as he eyed tlie yapping' ferrier witb obvious distruSt. "And he held out Ms band and sbowed :rn ugly mark. Bid you have it cauterized?" the lousewife asked politely. "No/' he returned. "I just hit it on :be head with a spade."

An American was on a walking-tour in Scotland. Snow had fallen and be was struggling along a narrow "road wben be met a Higblander. "I guess, friend, I sure-am lostl" be said, plaintively. "Is there a reward oot for y el" askod tbe Seotsman. "No." . ' "Weel, ye're sfcill lo'st."