YOU CAN BE WITTY IF YOU WANT TO!

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 100, 14 May 1937, Page 8

YOU CAN BE WITTY IF YOU WANT TO!

English Humorist's Recipe JUST "BE YOURSELF" ^kte« a humorist, when asked how to b« fnnny, replied eynically, "Be your»elf." In this article an English phychologist, without cynicism or hooey, giv8S you a practical method — based on sound psychology — for developing and capitalising your sense of humour. It'fl funny, tool "I want an ice without flavour." "Without what flavour do you want it»" "Oh, all xight, without vanilla." "Sorry, sir, but you'U have .to take it without chocolate — we have no vanilla." Does that seem funny to you? . Or this.f. "When I was bom, do you know, ll weighed only two and a half pounds." "Zat so— and did you live'f "Why, you just ought to see me now. ' ' Or thisf : 4 'Say, dida't I meet you in the Isle of Wightt" "Never been to the Islo of Wight,', pld chap." "Neither have L It mnst have been two other chaps." Or do you prefer to fancy yourself oozing epigrams, snapping wisecxacks, shedding mallow aphorisms and wise comments? Or catapulting hot reparteel You knowl The sort of things you usually think on the way home. Professional gagsters say there are only six or seven jokea. Originality i» just giving a new twist to an old joke. Let's analyse hum,our. Types oi hnmour and the twists you can give it. Play on "Words I'd horsewhipe you — if I had a horse. Yes, I play the banjo — but only for any own amazement. If capital punishment was good jenough for my father, it is good enough for me. Poor Mrs Avoirdupois. She used to ibe pretty — sixty pounds ago. Now sh© seems resigned to her fat. He owes that tummy to his daily doesn't. The audience strummed their catarrhs. Taking Words Literally » ' "See thoBe books — they're my best jfriends." "Time you returned them, old chap." Or this. "Anything you say will he jheld against you." "Joan Crawford." Or the Bachelor's Lament: "They say |I ought to take a wife — but I dunno jwhose." Bxaggeration or Understatement Sassenach's definition of silence: A Scot whistling for a taxL Noel Coward, on beholding ,the toriginal Venus de Milo (the statue is |armless, as you know), turns to a lady and says: "See what will happen if you bit your nails." Anti-Climax Frustrated blondie:. "I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. He's broken my heart. He's wrecked my life. He's messed my entire evening." Xmplication by Contrast What I admired about the Berlin mounted police was the intelligent iook on the horses' faces. Taking Liberties With Loglc See the jokes at the beginning of this jar.ticle. Double Negatives or Opposites J I'll be independent-yif I have to borrow every cent. Shortest f airy-tale: Once there was an jhonest lawyer. I do like a cold bath — especially if ■half of it is warm.

Colonred man, when asked whether he \ would rather meet a beautiful woman or1 j dream about it. "I'd rather dream I ;about it. I think yo' gits a better class fo' women that way." Film star, overheard: "Now let's talk about you. What do you think of my ,last picturel" Poor wee birdie — it hasn't even got a cage. Yes, sir, this country has the finest , jcritics money can buy. , Perverted Proverbs ox Twisted ' * Platitudes He who hesitates is bossedL. Bemember the poor — it costs nothing. Oscar Wilde — most brilliant epigrammatist of his time — was fond of this techniqne; "The sort of face that once Been was never remembered." "The i proper basis of marriage is a mutual ! misunderstanding." Action Jokes L Dignity punctured. By blows, falls, insulta, etc. ' • 2. Setting a trap for someone and beiiYg caught in it. If Mr Silkhat slips on a banapa peel and drops his hat in the gutter — that ; is funny, If he places banana peel on \ the pavement for the benefit of P.O. j Flatfoot, slips on it himself and is j arrested for drunkenness by his intended victim — that is funnier stiil. Being funny is a frame of mind. It | comes easier to those who are a iittie i unhappy. j The only people who have no sense of } humour are the extremely happy and j the extremely stupid. They have no ! need of it. We laugh for a variety of reasons. ' To feel superior; i.e., when the pompous [ boss sits on a 'tack. To work off hatred, | ridicule and resentment that cannot be j expressed in action. . j To break dowa our inhibitions — when we joke about subjects tabooed by poiite society. To relievp nervons overstimulation — when tickled or tense. And children laugh for exactly the same reasons — only more so. Happy people don't laugh. They smile — from simple contentment. In short, laughter relieves the mental tension that accumulates from the petty frustrations of ordinary everyday life. It helps restore the mind to an even keel. The natural way to learn is to acquire ihe habit of analysing the most brilliant jokes or witticisms that appeal to you. ilnvent half a dozen twists and variations on the same pattern. Then forget nl"">ut it. It will have sunk into your subconsciousnesa. Every natural comedian has used this anethod — by instinct, if not by deiiberation. When the right time and the xight situation come along, you will find yourself improvising spontaneously with more and more skill. The best humour is opontaneous and fopical. It caps the moment. The best |humorists have bad memories. ■ Never panse after a joke. ftamble ton. The pause is most effectivo in re'partee. Watch Mae West's masterly Etechnique. A pause, a look, a grimace, an «'0h" ior a diplomatio stutter — according to rtaste — and then the retort. Hot and tight-packed. Professional humorists call it the "slow burn." It gives you time to think. Two abominations. No. 1. The jokester who must be funny at all costs and at all times. A serious thought puts the fear of God into him. The sense of humour is part of a larger sense — a sense of perspective. The true humorist is just as sensitive to the pathos in life as he is.- to its comedy. He knows that Comic and Tragic are two sides of the same coin. He is the last man to joke about the wrong things. No. 2. The jokester who uses faeetious humour to focus perpetuel qjtotlight on himself, vtr i . Twin plagues on 'em .both! 0