HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 95, 8 May 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

»— » ■■■■■ ■■ ■ Testimoaial ] w giving a dinner-party to ■ ik boti, and to celebrate the occasion. S* bought & cluck from an old woman vba iras famed for ihe birds sbe rearfd ondier farm. But tbe next day Smitb was round at ihe farm to complain. • ««Why," protested tbe old woman, "tbere wasn't anything wrong with tbe bird, was there?" "Wrongl" cried Smitb. "It was 110 good at all." '•Well, it ougbt to have been good," ■aid tbe otber. "Tbat duek won first prize at tbe local poultry show for ten years in succession."

t Out of Tane \ •'Good morning, bave you bad a nice Mstt" tbe landlady asked ber new Jodger. **No,,f was tbe reply, "your cat kept m awake. ' ' "Oh,* mad tbe landlady, "I bope yon are not going to ask to bave tbe poor tbing destroyed! " "Not exactly, ' ' said tbe xoild little hthmij "but wonld yon very much mind baving it tuned?"

"Eolka," said tbe Negro minister, 'fthe subjeet of my sermon this eveaing am 1 Liars. ' How many in de congregation has read tbe 29tb-chapter of Matthew?" Nearly every band was raised immediately. "Dat's right," said tbe minister, "you is jus tbe folk I want to preach to. Dere >im no 29tb ebapter . of Matthew."

A bard-driving taxi-man ignored a red signal, tbreatened tbe traffic policeman 's knees, missed tbe streat island by an ineh, and grazed a bus, ali in one dasb. Tbe policeman bailed bim, tben strolled over to tbe taxi, pnlling a big handkerchief from bis pocket en route. "Listen, cowboy!" ihe gpowled. "On yonr way baek I'll lrop tbis and see if you can pick it np with your teeth. ' '

"You never t-take tbe s-sligbtest interest in any tbing I do," sobbed tbe young bride. "Now, don't be unrcasonable, dariing," said tbe no,y busband. "AI1 lalt nigbt I lay awake wondering wbat you bad. put in tbat cake yon made yesterday."