HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 83, 24 April 1937, Page 16

HUMOUR

Two friends met in the stxeet. One had had his arnx broken in a motor-car accident and was carrying it in a sling "I say," said the first, "it's too bad about your arm. How long wiU you have to carry it in a sling?" The injured man shrugged. "There 's a slight difference of opinion about that," he replied. "My doctor says two weelcs — and my lawyer says twelve."

Uncle George had just died, and hi> ismall nephew had watched the funeral /leave the house. When he went to bed that night ie wouldn't say his prayers. His mother asked why, and he explained: "Well, you see, I don't think I'll bother God to-night. He '11 be so busy xxnpacking Uncle George."

A wealthy farmer has the reputation o£ being mean. He put a sovereign (a prized posses* sion) in the church-plate instead of a shilling, "and diseovered his mistake on taking his seat. He returned to the vestibule to oxplain, but the elder on duty replied:— "Nah, nah, we dinna gie change herej and you '11 ha'e credit for nae mair than a bob ixp aloft." $>$>$>♦ A little girl was told- by her teaeher to write a imposition on "Ants." She began: "Ants aTe of two hinds, insects and lady uncles. ' 7

. Agreed. The butcher greeted the custome: with an embarrassed air. "I'm very sorry, madam, but I can not give you further credit. Your bi!' is bigger now than it should be." The cxistomer looked at him coldly. "I'm quite aware of that," she said "If you make it out for what it shoulc be I'll pay it."

llxnt. "Well, dear," said Blair after tea had beeu cleared away, "what are you planniiig to do to-night?" Mrs Iilair shrugged hcr shoulders. "Nothing special," she replied. "1" probably write a or two, rea-. listen to the wireless, and so on." "I see," ho replied, "And when v come to the 'so on," don't forget u sliirt hui tons."