HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 77, 17 April 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

Levy itxrued up wearing & diamond tie-pin. His frien'ds were impressed,i one asked him: "X say, Levy, where did you get that diamond?' ' "You xemember Stein?" * "Yes, but be didn't leave you any money, did be?" * ''Ko, but be left a bundred pounds for & memorial stone to be put up to him. Tbis is it."

Fat bad beea out of work in tbe pottsrie* for foar yeaie whea be got a «eod jdb. Unfortunately, during tbe itwt week be dropped a statuo and was told ber .would bave to pay tbe priee — £100 — at sixpeneo a week. Kext week he dropped a piece ef Srork. vaiued at £200. So be said to bis workmatesr. "Begorrah, I've got' a job for loife.**

Herbert and Hilda, bumble honeybooners, were baving' dinner in a firsttlass xestaurant. "Wbat do you thinkof this?" whispered Herbert. "Wby, X think it'* superb," xesponded Hilda gusbingly. "Darling, I know it-'s soup," said Herbert, a trifle irxitably, ''and please don't eall me 'Erb ?ere."

A negro preaeher was interrupted by iwo dogs fighting in the "eburcb porch. "Broihahs an' sistabs," be said, detisively, "Ah can see yo' attention bas strayed from bis book, so Ab closes it. But An opens tbis one, an' rigbt now Ab lays flve to four on the black dawg." ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ There once was an absent-minded i sprofessor who came down to breakfast, kissed bis egg and cracked bis wife on j . tbe beadr }

,The oceupant of a aewly-bnilt bouse ] tad complained of the electric installa- j lion, and tbe builder's agent had callid. ] Tryxng to do bis best for bis employ- £ ir, be said, "You complained of tbe ] igbting? H'm— Seems all rigbt to me. Pell me, I suppose you aren 't troubled t ritb poor ligbt always?" j "Oh, no— not always, of course." "-Ab— I tbougbt not. Only .at cer- \ ain times, you mean?" tbe agent askd, tbinking to have scored a.point. "That's- right," tbe tenant replied. 'Only ^fter darkl " ,