HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 65, 3 April 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

Cap Thftt Didn't Fit. Pat wai oh hii way home after % convivial evening. As he was floundering along, he suddenly f ell flat, and pullcd himself to his feet to find the parish priest in front of him. "Pat, Pat!" said the. priest in xeproach. "Sinners stan^ on slippery ground." • "So Oi see, yer riverence," said Pat, "but, faith, it's more than Oi can do."

Well Paid. The porter, having deposited the luggage on the seat, stood by to receive his , tip. The old man carefully placed ~a penny in his hand. . "Princely remuneration! " said the traveller, noting the porter 's disap- ^ pointment. "Princely! Work it out. It took you thirty seconds to find me a seat. I'm paying you at the rata of ten shillings an hour!"

Wedding Guest: "Isn't this yonr fourth daughter that's getting married, Angus?" Angus: "Aye, and our rice is getting awfu' dirty. ' '

Limit The. midget had obtained a job in a factory. . At the end of the first week, however, he gave notice, ,The foreman expressed his surprise. "Well, you see, sir," explained the midget, "one of the first questions my mates asked me was how tall I am, 1 told them I was exactly two feet high. ' ' "Well," returned the foreman, "why should you want to leave usl Didn't you like the question?" "Oh, I didn't mind that," came the response, "but I do. object to being picked np every five minntes and used as a two-foot rule."

XJnlikely The clergyinan was about to christen the baby. "You may grow up to be an admiral of the Fleet or a general in the Army, or you may become Prime Minister." Then, turniug to the mother, he said, "And whfit is the child's name?" "Mary," the mother replild*