HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 49, 13 March 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

■ Overtime, " "Hello," exclaimed Donald, "hae ye heard about Macphcrson?" "No, what's the matter with him " "He's opened a new business. Daeing fine, too." ( "What's his line?" 4 "He's selling glow-worms tae bee L keepers. ' ' "Whatever for?" "Tae put in the beehives so that the bees can see tae work at night."

"But why didn't you say you were Scotch in your reference?" "Well, sir, I didna Iike to boast." ^ 3. S> Reward! "My poor fellow, you must be-wet through," said au old lady to a yqung man who, at the risk ef his life, had managed to get her pet poodle eut ef the frozen lake. The dog had run on the iee and fallen through a hole somo tEstance from the bank. . "Yes, you must be drenched to :the skin," she continued. "Take these three peppermints — they '11 warm you; and have these others before you go to bed to-night." —— T 1

« Thrown Out The new baby proved to be a power-j ful loudspeaker. One day his brother, little Tommy, said to hi& mother: "Mother, baby came from " heaven,' didn't he?" "Yes, dear," answered mothers Tommy was silent for a moment, then he went on: "I say mother!" «■ "What 3i it, Tomn^;?" "I don't blame tho angele for sKnging him ont, do you?" — * 'ti

What a Hope! The young wife was telling .her' mother-in-law how difflcult it was for- ^ -her to keep house on what her husband allowed her. "But anyone," said the older woman/ "would be satisfied with what. Jack says he gives you! " "So would I! " replied the other, *ed-

Ignorance Two boys were gazing at the shop windows decorated for Christmas. Pre- . sently they came to a butcher's shop and one of them pointed to a number of hams hanging from a large holiy branch. "Look, Jim!" he said. "Look atthem 'ams growing np therel" "Get away," said ikft ffthm "Ams don't grow!" "Well, that 's all you know about it, ' : said the first, seornfullv. "Airi 'i ■