HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 29, 18 February 1937, Page 14

HUMOUR

Secret

Ike and Sam were itrouing along the street. Passers-by stared at them, because Sam was reading a letter albui, and Ike had his fingers stuck in Sam's ears. Their mu tuai friend, Joe, encountered them and stopped in amazement. "Ike," he- asked sharply, "why are you holding Sam's ears shut while he reads a letter aloud?" "The letter,' replied Ike, "ii from my sweetheart. I can't read, and I don't want him to know what she's saying to me." €> ^ Q ♦ Sleepless Nights The Negress was applying for a separation order from her husband. "He done said that one night he'lll do me in," she protested. "He has a razor under his pillow; and Ah has a hammer under mine. Well, Ah doan' mind that. Ah. guess it's the give-and-take of married life. But yo' see how it is, suh. Neither of us doan' get aio sleep."

Worth a Trial

The foreman eyed William thoughtfully. " 'Ava you ever used a pick and shovel before!'?1 he asked. "No," answered, "Wiliiam, ''but I^l willing to try." « "I)o you drinkl ' "I neither drink nor smoke/ aame theTeply. " 'Ave ydu got a young ladyt" "No, boss," sighed William. . "Well," said the foreman, "youll be 'andy to collect the tanners for. ihb football sweep." & ♦ ♦ ♦ • "Doea that. man coUect renti heref*1 "Good Heavens, no!" "Then who is hef " "Him? Gh, he'i the rent eollector,"

Different

The salesman lost his temper and told the superintendent to go and boil his head, and was hauled before the rnanaging director. Still wrathful ha 4nvited that dignitary to eat coke. The managing director was furious. "What is thia man's xecord?" ha demanded. • He learned that the man had increased his saies by 300 per cent. during the previous quarter. "OhJ" said the managing director, in a changed tone. "In that case you had better make your own arrangements, but I shall send out at once for aome coke. ' '

Old Lady (in aquarium) : "Caa I ge't i real live shark here, my man?" Attendant-: "W-what for, madam?" "Well, a neighbour's cat has been iating my goldiish, and I Arant to teac-h t n lessnn."