HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 7, 23 January 1937, Page 12

HUMOUR

j It was the weekly meeting of the 2 eoloured "Sons of I WiH -Afise -Se-jj ciety." At the end of the usual business, a loud voiee yelled frtM the baek of the lall: "Mistah Ohayman, A.h makes a motion dat Sam* Jackson am a dirty, low-down, sneaking, mis'rable chicken-thief . ' ' - .»—>-■ — Down in the front a little fellow leapt to his feet. . . v. . : t. "Who makes dat motion.dat Ah'm a low-down, sneaking, mis'rable ehickehthief?" he cried, glaring round tho room. A huge, scar-faced Negro jumped upl "Ah makes dat motion," he " said, meiiacihgly. "Mistfer Chaymhri, " Said Sam, quickly, *'Ah' seeunds dat motion.''

A f ootballer had a ftdnt tooth khOCked 4iit in a vigorohs game. When he got home he was met by his yoiing hopeftil, who regarded him queerly.for. . & minute. . . - "Oh, daddyl" he said, "I jon't like yoti a bit with your teeth parted in the middle!"

^ . ... itoiigiit > A luccessful business man, after . ight years of absence, aiighted at thfe tation of his old home town. There .vas, despite" his expectatibn's, nb oue bn ihe piatfotm whom he kaewjDiseouthged, he soiight Otit the sta.iofiffiaster, a friehd sihce boyhood. To .ilw at least he would be weleomej and he waal about to extend a hearty greeting when the other spoke first. "Helio, George," he said. "Going away!" .

The housewife had a hew Irish cook, indbne day she bonght some apples and _>lnma and instrueted the girl to make •arts. Entering the kitchen later xn ihe day she saw six tarts^each bearing the letters "T.A." in icing. The housewife complimented her eook f on. her skill, aud inquired the meaning . of . ther letters, "Well, ina.'am,'' said Bridgefy * 'I ' thohght 'you' might 'get mixed up, so theni three with - 'T.A.' means. "Txs Apples,' and the other three with 'T.A.' * nifeans ""Tain'f Apples,'!"

4 Eeward, "A thtee-ha'penny stamp, please," \ U& the old lady, to the assistaut in the . jst offiee, "Aud, by the way, haven 't t seen you somewhere before?" ' ? J'1fe s," Said the asSistant. "I was ** the mfttt who reseued you when you * eii into the river iast summer at • tichtoOnd." "Well, well," exelalmM the old lady, "in that case I'll have twelve three*:a'penny stamps, six penny ones;,and a -1 '"W for fllve shillings,"