HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 7, 23 January 1937, Page 12

HUMOUR

An American train was travelling at a good speed on & branch line, when suddenly the engine left the rails. A Hegro porter, Who had been standing by a window in the saloon, was thtpwii through the glass and flung some dozen yards before he was brought up short by crashing his head against a concrete post. For a few momeiits he l&y dazfed; theh he sat Up and rubbed his hC&d. A eroWd bf passengers was- quicMy On the sCeiife. "Good Heavens!" cried OiiB of thCm, "We thought you must be dead. ' ' "No," replied the Negro, slowly. "Ah reckons that concrete post must have broken ma f all."

Ddtifig the reading of a Story t teaeher paused to ask his pupils if they knew the meaning of- the phrase "the shark'g huiigry maw." "Its starving mother, sir," called out a littie boy, promptly.

A tourist saw a sign outside a hotel whieh read, "Free Garage." He decided to stay the nighi, and put his ear in the garage. On leaving for a stroll he Was approached by the attendant, who asked him what accommodation h© reqilired. "Oh — er— ndne, thaiik yotl," he Tf plied. "I'm sleeping in the cat." ,

"I am a woman of few words," announced tho haughty mistress to the new niaid. "If 1 beckoa with my-finge-r, that means come." "Suits nte, mum," replied the girl. "I'm a woman of few words myself. If I shake me" head, that means I ain 't comin'."

The man in the doek was a wellkndwii pickpoeket. " He had been before the same magistrate at least a score of times, and there Was hot the ' slightest reasOtt Why he should not be sent down once more. The magistrate asked whether he had anything to say, "Yes, your Worship," UmJ prisoner replied, "Is it possible for ' this case to be put ofl: for another week. My Iawyer's ill?" "But what could your lawyer say in your defence this time," the magistrate replied, "when the policeman actually caught your hand. in the man's poeket?" "Your worship," said the prisoner, earnestly, "that's just what I'm curb)"f) ?-ri .>>