Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

Hastings Standard, Issue 17, 15 May 1896, Page 4

Odds and Ends from all Quarters.

One hand in the dough is worth two in :he dance. A. man who minds his own business has steady employment. A contemporary speaks of a man as a born musician. We have never had the fortune to meet with one who was not born. " Always pay as you go," said an old man to his nephew. " But uncle, suppose I have nothing to pay with'?" " Then don't go." Why is it that so many worthy clergymen disregard a great law of nature and expand their sermons as the weather grows colder ? " Say, Pomp, yovi nigger, where did you get dat new hat?" asked C'resar. " Why, at de shop, of course." " What am de price oh such an article as dat ?" " I don't know, nigger; I don't know—deshopkeepr wasn't dar." Any man who will dye his "moustache will pretend to be what he is not. He will procure praise for beauty under false pretences. He will deceive his best friends. Strictly speaking, a man cannot dye his moustache and remain hone-it. You would be a much happier 'nail >u wouldn't drink," said a t> s reformer. " Why don't }ui t~* . sober life?" " I have, and there's only one trouble about it." " What is that ? " " The novelty wears off it so blamed quick." Teacher.—" Now Klaus, if I say the father blessed his six children, is that active or passive?" '• That is active." " Correct. And what is passive ?" " The father was blessed with sis children." " Is he a young man of brains ?" inquired an old gentleman respecting a swell youth. "Well, really," replied his daughter, " I never had no opportunity of judging. I never met him anywhere except in society." Mr Dun: " But, my dear fellow, this account has been running seven years." Scientific Debtor: "That's right old man. But you know every atom of a man's system changes in seven years. lam not the man who bought the goods." " Don't you think," asked the enthusiastic young minister, "that the time is near at hand when wars will be no more ?" " Goodness, no," exclaimed Mrs Jason. " War's about the only chance the men folks has to show that they are really any use."