British Manufactures By A British Manufacturer

Grey River Argus, Volume XVI, Issue 2146, 25 June 1875, Page 3

British Manufactures By A British Manufacturer

Now on a visit to : '.■-■ '•■• >New Zealand For the purpose of ascertaining the capabilities of the colony in yiew oi'-tlfeea'tabr lishmerit of important industries in the province of Wellington. Upon the completion of the address, presents of British! manufactures will be made to the audience, : each holder of a five shilling ticket receiving its equivalent in value of such manufactures, and each possessor of a half a crown ticket an equal return for his or her money. Prices— Stall, 6s. ; Upper-circles, 2s. 6d. God Save the Queen. This done, I sent Buttons to all the principal inhabitants with a circular embodying the above information, together with a large bundle of tickets. Iwassitting munching our boarding-house corn beef and cabbages, when he returned. I saw by his eye that he was triumphant. Taking me aside, he honorably emptied L 7 12s. 6d. into my hands. " It'll fetch em," says he, with suppressed delight. "Let's have a pint," and we drank success to the movement. Well, to make a long story short, the. eventful evening came round. Buttons took the money and issued the tickets. " Now, Buttons," was my parting admonition ; "'.when I've finished my discourse you bolt i home, I'll manage to clear out all right^" and then I went on the Btage, in: the centre of which my friend's parcel ~of buttons was heaped most imposingly upon a table. The theatre (as it was called) was crammed. You. see, they were looking out for . their moneys worth of British manufactures, and, following upon an enthusiastic reception, I commenced ' my address ; touched lightly upon the development 1 of manufacturers from the earliest period of history the^rjßsetit day ; explained the systems of manulaclure in England • denounced the greed of manufacturers, and their utter waiit of broad public benevolence ; and alliided tolthe prosperity which might be brought to Few Zealand by the introduction of industries of a kindred character to those by which millions were employed in the United Kingdom. ■ Then I declared that: l was so fully persuaded of the personal advantages -which would arise out of the enterprise, that; I had resolved to make arrangements for the establishment of large buttbn mills in the l^nd of ;^hfe Maoris. At this- there was a general. smile, and a fellow in the upper cirele^a half -crpwner-— roars out, ({Buttons! Wot's the ÜBe,o' buttons ?", Fixing my .eyes uppn ; him I said j "-An individual asks the use of .buttons. From his aspect ladie3 ; and -.gentlemen, I am induced to pass over : his question as the outcome of ignorance. -Had this. iunhappy creature been used to-wearing shirts, could he have asked sncharT absurd question ? Do we not know that iully pne-tehth of domestic troubles "Has 'its origin in 'the absence of Bhirt buttons from shirts V 'At this several gentlemen cried out ' hear .'hear !' and thus encpuraged,?* o I proceeded -to .describe the Bevjerjal tin'ds, pf . Jbuttons-r-the : national b^uttonsy on which the crown was engraved; the navy button emblem of our ' kingdom of the sea ? the ribbed bone buttons so strongly; reminding us of our, 'first- unmentionables; then si-'- touched ion the shirt button again ; the coat button which your friend seizes when, h^ vcorriers ypu to listen _t6 : Kis.gossip i | an'S-la^tly, gaby's bu J > ton,'tb?e /s^Jiei'nt^&;b.uiitbn.;'7&^.iß'.used. o)S jH^^arfients, pf 'cherubs. Does not the eminent Mrs Winslow,'-' I said compare an jmf ant ■Subjected- to the soothing influences of her syrup to a button. , Here again- my -enemy cried - out,; '* A. lot you Mows ; about it'. r They don't button babies:; they pins em.' r " j liadiesaridgentlemeny" said I, .f' l defer to this individual's view of'lhe^inatttiri :He is doubtless !correct ; for ;Fm' 'pretty sure:^ he's dine of thpse gentlemen ',! who nurse^ the .baby .while the mothers go out charing. " And! now/ I continued stepping hack from the stage," 'imy servant w.ill: deliver the prizes 1 to the audience, r/ Joe"-^ and a half-caste fellow I had^ engaged^ for the purpose came out frpm;;the: wings^-" Joe, give these ladies and gentlemen their prizes; Those on the'r^ht^hand 1 are 1 the five shilling lots ; thos^ 6n the left the 1 half-crown lots," and making il v 'Dow, I .pteppled 1 .off the stage iritp.tlie^bat -parlor, and scuttled into- me Bteeeisr ; ; Whenljgpt'hpme I found that Hutfb&^hadrba'mcaded hisi-b/edroom door. He' let me in, however, . and we compared nofcesl ;'^j^VtLM.^. olid cock," cried b# j.r,"i^eli you %re a genius." And even as he spoke we could hear the crowd passing.; ;frpm n the. . thqatrer— some swearing, more laughing heartily. ' There had- been a row, ;and Lhad ;to give Joe a pound more i;thand- had • bargained for, as a salve for two black eyes and a damaged pair of shins;" 'Ab 1 f ofs 'Buttons and myself, we kept close all next day, sailing at midnight by the mail steamer for Sydney. It wasn't a bad dodge; and^not half so imn>6ralas the Ballarat lottery business, \ntiitf f ■ ''■•" 'i - •'■'•■■ ■■-■■■■■ ■-■ .■■■■•■ '- ;