NOTIONS.

Grey River Argus, Volume XIII, Issue 1564, 9 August 1873, Page 2

NOTIONS.

We were informed a short time since that the laborers at Tuapeka were getting "cheeky," because in receipt of 83 per . day. , Their Grey mouth brethren get from . 10s to lls per day. Then it "would be little surprising jif tlmj were ' ' cheeky/ The Latins had a proverb, " Orescit amor ■nimmi qiumtum pecimia ipsa crescit" : which is illustrated as true in this faroff,., land'".' just" now. A body of pur "ihorny, r handed " ■ friends, are .;not; content with L 3 per week, but must get L 3 6s, or not work at all. They find theniselves masters of : the situation, ' arid 1 the! usual result has 'come about- There is surely ! no part dl the world .where it ban be more . truly said jthat— „. „j. .'. ?i . ..;■ •. i " A man is a man if he's willing to toil, .-... , And the humblest may reap the fruit of the r ' soil." ■■:■"■■ ' ::: ' !!/ ---' Our queens of the, kitchen j tooj-hayeiroay times. , Yon hard-;worked r womeri, in the crowded hives of Europe, how would you not jump for joy if offered L 52 a year for moderate labor • And how would not this be augmented if told that you would, be more mistresses 'than' the poor ladies who nominally held the position, and had the privilege of handing" you twenty "roberts" at the end of every • weec, in addition to' having fed" and; lodged you; well, and put up weekly with a prodigi6us ; stock of impudence !- How- i /would an English washerwoman gape with incredulity ;• if informed that in. Greymouth; persons of her "profession" got as mn'ch r as L7B a year, with good, board and lodging I ' I see, per advertisemerit, that; young girls at Reefton can. earn LlO4 ■; a year, besides (I suppose)' quarters. What, "profession" these are to be of, the advertiser does not r state, but I dare swear thby will not need, to be more elevated than retailers of whisky and flirtations, or performers on "the light fantastic toe." • Which I .wish to.remark, .; . ; , ; • , And my^language is plain, :'■••'-••• -■That for- ways thai; are dark, •; And for tricks that are vain , - ' ; This girl of thirteen is peculiar. , , She ; and an; adult lass . were '•fallow-ser-vants ; at .Inyercargill j and by way ! of sho w-t , ing her 1 peculiarity" for ways that are.-, dark/ she recently lodged an information against , the; latter ! for ' infanticidei The poor girl Was wholly; guiltless 1 of the crith'e'' or anything like, it, .bui; she was airestedTbrought up in open! cour|, ;and, jhaving^ been subjected to .the insolent gaze' of the curious and prurient, was remanded for the production of evidence. Meanwhile the precopious accuser 'confessed that her story was entirely a fabrication! as her statements had not been made on oath, ' she was not punishable. I What sort of a 1 mind. must, this child in years but woman in wickedness have;?/ At Ebkitika, not long since, a father. brought forward his daughter, . a girl of (tender years^ to' prove her own mother an adulteress. ,. v One would imagine that the experience of i the • Invercargill prodigy of early-ripened 1 infamy must have ]. been | similar to^that of the- luckless creaiture of Hokitika; , •« \ -,\ .•

Doesi'New Zealand - possess nothing of pictorial interest that the fine illustrated paper published at Dunedin, and! whose cognomen is Herald, should have tp go to Victoria for nearly the whole -of the subr jects of its lait number ? \The Victorians are well, enough, able t'6 blOwtnejir own ir limpet'; at' r least so thinks Anthony Trollope. They dp not .need advertising" per the agency of foreign pap^rsi?! There seems to be^ample. scope,, for? the Herald's artists in the many hew works tljat are 1 going on in this Colony, not to mention the glorious scenery that .exists; in such wide abundance. Moreover, thej thing required most of all to get the rei lources^ of bountryideveloped is ; adve: -tising, but what advertisement' is \ as good as a pictorial .illusfeaiion?';" It would npt ; be amiss to infrodiice'a few Australian scenes as subsidiary to' the New Zealand .ones, but the ■ latter .should always hold; 1 the chief place. fOur contributor is apparently not aware that the Hetald is printed in Melbournp/j. ...... !

i.WiIL Shakespeare /wrote. ; of : a woman who was conceited.) Nothing remarkable — for are not all of her gender conpeited ? True, but Will's feminine was, so appre- , ciatiye of: her own worth that he said of her — ■.:';■,■: ■ •,• ;.-; :■;■ < .1 '; \r "-'•' — 4 — She cannot love, j Nor take no, shape nor project of affection^ .i.She.iss.q selfrendeared." ; '! -.^ ■,•; Doth any .of my..readers. find himself ac- . quainted with her couuterpari; inj Greymbuth v ? n \Edare say there be some who' think they, could name half-a-dozeVcom- . pie te . facsimiles: ? , But, soft my friends ! " great are the beauty and | loveliness of charity,, and she,.coyereth a-mitltitude of sins. 'Judge 'not rashly of your acquaintances, especially your "fair" friends. Variityis so' becoming, too, in most members of ',' the; female persuasion" that they would 'be like champagne without the spairkling. foam if bereft of ibi It is one- of the -brightest- jewels that go to make up that' mysterious and wonderful tout eiisemble; a captivating woman. It is only a gem of paste, of course,- biit /then' ! wKat' of that?- Her worshippers do not inspect closely enough to detect the fraud/ A'nc^'if where ignorance is bliss it be folly to be wise, as a .poet declares, surely it were, foolish .[[ to pry tot), curio'psly here. "There' is a pleasure in! ; being deceived. .Witness what. delight nien and 1 |w6men tate ,-j • , in self-deception.. If ' ; everything were -probed to (i the core, alas ! what would be found ?Tr-let conscience ; answer. Byron called the human heartanf '' opening sepulchre." •; Was : Byron right ? ,

In what 'latitude 1 and; longitude; of the world" beyond the' 'Styx is <{ the f summer land," and is '■it always summer there $ If it were,: I. should imagine it must be that place where the climate is so calid that they can- use, neither wood nor stone^ ajor any. other of the wonted , materials in paving, but must needs employ good intentions or do without pavement. The | ' Harmonial Progressionists" have a pretty kind of faith ; one that strikes the warm fancy as very nice indeed. It is to be presumed that were we here to join the sect, all from the Mayor to the town-crierj therd would be no need for the Brobdighagiati -policemen that how strike the timid with awe at their giant' "stature. There wquld be nothing but liarmony ; the golden age would :be initiated. The cat aiid the mouse would lie down together/ the rat and the. Scotch terrier would gambbl with each ; other. ' ; The; becupationi 'of jjudgesi and lawyers,' 'it ftoi gtirtiis' onijiej would be gone. Wigs would be turned into chignons' and gowns into petticoats, for Anna Maria

and Amelia Josephine. Then, being "Progressionists," we would progress continually. The bar would be cleared away. The coal ship 3 would swarm hither in fleets, and Newcastle, having become wholly bankrupt, would commit felx> Wise;- iii despair of "ever- lifting her heada?ain.' And when we had taken the Mp With old Charon; we would pass into "the summer land.". Query— WouW there then be any desire "for "a few whiffs of our old enemy— the Gorge wind 1

A man who knew a good deal anent affairs sublunary enunciated the opinion that there is something in the misfortunes of our dearest friends which gives us pleasure. lamnotenamoredpfconflagrations, but I detest;. being- " sold." Not long ago I • was appalled ;by.iihe°J.brazenthroat of the; fire-bell ■= shriekingf" Fire 1 fire !• fire !" in ;tha wildest tone of its dreadful voice. It wis more than an Hour past midnight, ' and; snugly wrapped in the blankets I ;: -was 1 dreaming a delightful. dream. . I rushed into the street/, expecting ' to', behold . a magnificent blaze— a bonded "warehouse, •a - couple of stores,' or at ''least a firstclass hotel.--'^Picture my indignation, and that of a hundred others similarly expectant, when we discovered t that it was 'n.6thing\'but ri .a; ; chinttey^'ailam'e, And .quite recently 'I was, again "sold "by that maker of rhpuntains putof mplehills. He yelled as if the Chicago conflagration .we're raging, yet there '- was ; but a paltry i<jhittiney -ablaze. 1 ■ "Pp,rturtent m&ntes et jiasciiiir ridimlus miis" tKought'l ; .you will cry wolf some uight, and 'ri6 7 one will take notice. Speaking of the battle of Albuera, Byron 'exclaimed . . . 1{ "By Heavenit is a splendid' sighV to see, (For one who hatK ■no friend, no brdther ■'' -there).' r Now there are fellows that have nothing . to ; lose by. ia grand ri fire who; deem it " a splendid sight." I never see some people in better spirits than on the occasion of a monster conflagration;. ;, ; ;.' ;r : Jones, has r a dear /riend, aye a very dear friend. /Said friend makes a mistake in regard to meiim''"arid invum, involving ,the embezzlement of.LIOOO or so, for which rh'e, 1 make's ' the^^'.'iaciiuanitance of that place from, 1 whbse'bouxrfe f 'no fellow returns.) with . th.c, ; glossyj curls that used t^^ ibesp much admired by his lady acquaint^! ances. Jones is _very sorry, yes very^)bu,t he r al ways knew his |i;iend^weakness for vain' display would lead him eventually to such.a fate. Grentle, Annie has a'friend more beloved than a sister. Nothing in rthe wide.uniyerse could sever. the bond of affection pure and unselfish which binds the twain. A faux pas : is made by this worshipped creature'— rshe; elope 3 with a stable-lbpy,. ■: ; or, * runs off , with a Jeremy Diddler. Annie is grieved to the inner,most; core of ; her -heart,: but she. always had a presentiment that it would corae_ to this; " : What can exceed in zestthe gennine gusto exhibited by a party of la^y friends assembled oyei? that <5' cup which cheers bu,t not inebriates,'' 'as they diAiuss the weakness of an absent friend 'of idiom her lord and master pleases -to 1 fbecjealous? With what infinite. 'relish OVtri' relates the latest "they say f^'With what . eagerness ; ;her.^listeners bend forward to catch every morsel of the delicious banquet ! A great poet remarks about the ■epithet, " chaste." as,appl^ed;tb tKe moon, that .there is far ,mqre lewoiess practised ii'nderthe reign of herlutiar Majesty than, under the dominion of the, sun. And so pLri regard '^o. this cup Jthat ine r bflites not. ■ l T'heVe/w....m0r.e.'.-scandai''.;taiked l ;pver one " dish of tea V, than/^er a/thonsand gallonsof whisky hot.- , .[;,.,, : jj I

Sam Johnson wrote an .elaborate poem to prove "the vanity-of* human wishes." In-his own lofty style. hejbegan— " Let pbseryation?with extensive view, Survey mankind from China to Peru." And he demonstrated his theorem from the high (places and "glorious names of history, But an incident occurred to a New Zealand editor the other day which exemplifies - the instability of earthly things as cogently; as any; of the illustrious characters that figure in the Johnsonian page, not excepting even him who— "Left, a name at which the world grew pale, ' To point a moral,- or adorn' a tale." The able editor domiciled at a hotel, and was waited on by Mary Jane. Said handmaiden's besetting sin' was an appetite for burning files in . lighting, fires.i- On the ieven'tf ul day ;in ; question [ the I eclitor was likely .enough to . " stoike ile," as the Yanks! phrase it, or; as, I , jiggers, talk to strike , a . patch ", . on , the ' ' Exchange lead, .; He became ppss^ssedy or, as the lawyers -say '■seized": of. a; bundle of. files full » of : "good things as ..a. Christmas pudding of plums." chuckled as he thought of "the si^jl) ment 'whicK'^was'ln store for the readers of his paper. Aware of M.J.s penchant for files,' he piled up jbhe mangled carcases of half a score upon which ttfie scissors .had'idone their cruel; work, just on the hearth. ; And he laid up his cherished on a; shelf, and,rby way of a charm against every evil hand, placed on the top of it "The Church Service." He went orit- in, the -assured belief that no hand would be sacrilegious enough "to destroy property so hblily guarded; ; 'He returned and found — the cinders of the sacred bundle i going: up .the> chimney, fthe mutilated files, untouched, and Jane singing as gaily as if she were guilty of no. 'crime. 1 -He 'has-been in a chronic state of swear ever since, but is just aw^kening'W'the fabt'^at; ;>i !' i: = , "The best laid schemes of' mice tand men :,;T/gang;aftiagleei'V ,(. r , ,.,., ,, !;) , t _ Query;: As "the. unco quid" deem it a sin'to read a newspaper on "the Sabbath," Will they tibt assert that the editor was so cruelly disappointed; as :! a.f judgment for his shocking profanity in placing the godly book on .the top of the ungodly journals? ' ' .■-•.-••■-•■...

i. • . : Dancing with a- beautiful girl is a beautiful > pasting but, though :a; thing of beauty, it is; not;. a joy for ever. Just fancy yourself a masculine at aball where the rpsyrcheeked lasses 'are in the ratio of ten to one to the menj .Aill the world is aware that a healthy girl is,' able to hold out long enough to tire down the partner upon whomshe hangs. "What then must be the fate oTthe Sapless wretch that has to be partner to half a score of robust maiden 3 one after ;the other;? Tjnis is the state of affairs in the lovely jisland of (Tasmaniau As soon as the young fellows reach, man's estate .they clear out for the much more prosperous Colony across ;Bass's;Straits,:)eavingjtheir sifters behind ■KfPflfooWJ 1 .- h . a .8 M^iSO&S on for many years, so thai there is quite a 1 plethora of young women in Tasmania.

Now here is a chance for New Zealand to obtain immigrants. The Tasmanian girls are acknowledged on all hands to be the loveliest of the Southern Hemisphere. Let our Government bring in a few ship '4oads to the various places most wifeless, and make each fair one return the cost of her importation when she gets married. There would be short delay for recoupment of the passage money, I promise you. The girls would go off in the matrimonial market more readily than a flock of prime ewes in a famine-stricken town. Why send to Europe for women when they can be got so much better, prettier, and cheaper so much nearer home. Besides, it would be a real act of charity to the Tasmanian girls to ship them to New Zealand. Diogenes.