WHISKEY V. BRAINS.

Grey River Argus, Volume IX, Issue 653, 26 March 1870, Page 4

WHISKEY V. BRAINS.

An American temperance lecturer gave the following hard hit at "moderate drinkers" : — " All who in youth acquire a 1 habit of drinking, at forty years of age will be total abstainers, or drunkards. No one can use whiskey for years with, moderation. If there is a person in this audience whose experience disputes this, let him make it known and I will account for it, or acknowledge that I aih mistaken." A tall, largo man arose, . and, folding his. arms across his breast, said, " I offer myself as one whose experience contradicts your statement,?' "Are you a moderate drinker," asked the judge. "I ; am." "How long have you drank in moderation?" "Forty yeara." "And were you never intoxicated ?" " tfo." •* Well, 1 " remarked the judge, scanning his subject closely from head to foot, "yours is a singular case, yet I think it easily accounted for. lam reminded by it of a little story :— A colored man, with a loaf of bread and a bottle of whiskey, sat down on the bank of a clear stream to dine. In breaking the bread he dropped sonip. of the crumbs into the water. These were eagerly seijjed and eaten by the iish, That circumstance, suggested to the negro the idea of dipping the bread into the whiskey and feeding it to them, He tried it. It worked well. Some of the fish ate of it, became drunk, and floated helplessly on the surface. In ;this way he easily caught a large number. But in the stream was a large fish, very unlike the rest. It partook freely of the bread and whiskey, with- no perceptible effect. It was shy of ; every effort of the negro to take it. He resolved to have it at all hazards that he might learn its nsine and nature. He . procured a net, and after much effort caught it, carried it to a colored neighbor, and asked his opinion in the matter. The other Surveyed the wonder a: moment, and then said, 'Sambo,. I understand this case. Dis fish is a mullet head •■ it ain't got any brains !' In other words" added the judge, " alcohol affects only the brains, and those having none may drink without injury." The storm of .laughter which, followed drove the " moderate drinker" suddenly from the house. •