Untitled

Grey River Argus, Volume VIII, Issue 581, 7 October 1869, Page 4

An editor at a dinner table being asked if he would take some more puddimg, replied in a tit of abstraction, "Owing to a crowd of other matter, we are unable to make room for it." Three boys were once disputing as to whofee father said the shortest grace. First boy, "My father says thank God." "Oh," said the second, "mine says Amen," No 3. " Ah, but mine's the best, of all ; he nobbut pushes his plate away and says Theer." " Is there any danger of the boa-constrictor biting me?" asked a lady visitor at the Zoological Gardeus. " Not the least, raarni." replied the sh.owinan ; "he never bites — he swallers his wittles 'ole !" Says an astronomer to a brigbt-eyed girl, •when talking of rainbows : "Did you ever see a lunar bow, miss?" "I have seen beaux by moonlight, if that's what you mean," was the sly rejoinder. : , ; The ordinary mode for churning in Chili is to put the milk in a skin — usually a dogsskin — tie it to a donkey, mount a boy^ on him with rowels to hip spurs ab jut th« length of the animal's ears, and then run him about our miles. Mr Ramsay late minister of : Kelso, was lecturing one Sunday to his congregation on on the 148 Psalm. Whea be came to the 12th verse, which runs thus— "Both young i meu and maidens, old men aud children, praise the Lord," "My brethren," says he," " I am aware that you will wonder much that wives are not here called upon to do ao too. As it is my duty to resolve all your reasonable questions relating to this Psalm, I must imform you that King David hath included wives in the 7th and Bth verses, which are thus written : 'Ye Dragons, and all Deeps, Fire and Hail, Snnw and Vapor, and Stormy Wind, praise the Lord. 1 " (Mr R. was unhappy in his wives.) ■. ■ " Shut your mouth" is a pamphlet by Mr Geo. Catlin, advocating bis well-known theory formed from observation of the American Indians : that breathing through the nose instead of the. mouth is a great preservative of health. No other animal, he says, excepting man, sleeps with his mouth open, and this pernicious habit is generally confined to communities where artificial civilisation has been carried to an extreme. [ An Indian mother watches her infant when asleep and presses the lips together whenever they are nailed, till the habit of always keeping the mouth closed is attained. . A kind-hearted but weak-min-led parishioner in the far north got into the pulpit of the parish church one Sunday morning before the minister, who happened to be rather behind the time. "Come down Jamie," said the minister, " that's my place." Come ye up, sir," replied Jamie, "they are a stiffnecked and rebellious generation, the people of this, place and it will take us baith to manage them !" Two clrarming women were discussing one day what is it that constitutes beauty iv the hand. They differed in opinion as much as does the shape of the beautiful member whose merits they were discussing A gentleman friend presented himself, and by common consent the question was referred to him. II was a delicate matter. Glancing from one to the other of the beautiful white hands, presented to him, he replied at last — "I give 1 it up. The question is too hard for me ; but ask the poor, and they will' tell you that the the most beautiful hand in the world is the hand that gives. ir • ' ' ■■= - :