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Grey River Argus, Volume VIII, Issue 579, 2 October 1869, Page 4

"No, young people." said a professor of natural history to his class, "now then as to hens. A hen has the capacity of laying just 600 eggs, and no more, and she finishes in just about five years. Now, what is to be done with her after that?" "Cut off her head, and sell her for a spring chicken !" exclaimed an urchin, whose father dealt in poultry. Two French ladies were looking for the little daughter of one of them in a group of baby-carnages. "Do you see her?" asked the friend of the mother 1 " Her ! I am lookiug for her nurse." "Her nurse?" " Yes : all children look alike. I know the nurse, and I can find the child best in that way." "As for myself, I thiuk all nurses look alike." "How do you find yourss then ?" " Oh, I know the soldier who is her beau." "Is my face dirty?" asked a young lady from the backwoods while seated with her aunt, at the dii.ner table on a steamboat running from Cairo to New Orleans. . Dirty! No. Why did you ask ? — " Because that insulting waiter insists upon putting a towel beside my plate. I've thrown three under the table and yet every time he comes around he puts another one before me." Lord I. ockburn, the proprietor of Bonally, was sitting on a hillside with a shepherd, and observing the sheep reposing in the coldest situation, he observed to him, "John, if I were a sheep I would lie down on the other side of the hill." The shepherd answered, "Ah, my lord, but if ye had been a sheep ye would hae had mair sense." At a church in Essex lately, the clerk, feeling unwell, asked his friend, the railway porter, to take his place for a Sunday:. He did so", but being worn out with' night 'work fell asleep. When the hymn was announced, a neighbour gave him a nudge, upon which he started up, rubbing his eyes, and called out, " Change here for Elms well, Thurstbn, and Bury. " Passing Strange.— A lady passing a bonnet shop without stopping.