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Grey River Argus, Volume VIII, Issue 575, 23 September 1869, Page 4

An enraptured writer inquires, " What is there, under heaven more humanising, or, if we may use the term, more angelising, than a fine black eye in a lovely woman? Two* black eyes is the only answer thought of at present. A gentlemen was praising the beautiful hair of a lady, when one of these terrible children whom providence seems to have sent on earth as scourges of hypocrisy and falsehood, exclaimed, " My hair would be as handsome as mamma's if she'd let me take as much care of it as she takes of hers. Mamma never sleeps in her hair, but always puts it away in the wardrobe before she goes I to be(V When a fish is wounded the other fishes fall upon and devour him. So it is with mankind the moment a man or woman gets going down hill almost everybody gives them a push, and keeps them continually tumbling. Human nature has many singular i phases, and this is one of them. Edmund Burke, the Irish orator, was telling Garrick, one day at Hampton, that all bitter things were hot. "Indeed" said Garrick, "what do you think, Mr Burke, of bitter cold weather ?" Dan Bryant has lately been getting himself considerably mixed up with his relations. He thus recounts his misfortunes : "I married a young widow, who lived with her. step-daughter ; my father shortly after mar- . ried the step-daughter. My wife was therefore the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of my father. lam the step-father of my mother-in-law, and my wife a step-daughter is my step-re other. Well my step-mother — that is to say, mj' father's wife l and my wife's; daughter had a son. He is my step-brother, of course ; but being the son of my wife's step da\ighter my wife is, of course, his grand -mother, and I am his grand-father as well as his step-brother. My wife also had a boy. My step-mother is, consequently, the step-sister of my boy, and also his grandmother, because he is the child of her stepson ; and my father is the brother-in-law of my son, who is the son of my step-mother. I am my mother's brother-in-law, my wife is the aunt of her own son, my son i 8 the grand-son of my father and I am my own grand-father."