Untitled

Grey River Argus, Volume VII, Issue 515, 6 May 1869, Page 4

When a man and a woman are made one by a clergyman the question is, which is the one? Sometimes there is a long struggle between them before this matter is finally settled. A pert fellow, seeing in the street an old woman who drove some asses, said, "Hail, Mother of Asses." "All hail, my son," answered she. The man felt his ears lengthen as he walked away. The latest monstrosity is .that of a man in Vermont who is so tall .that he can't tell when his toes are cold. The man who was obliged to get on his knees to unscrew the weathercock of the Old South Meeting-house in Boston was, we guess, a little bit taller than this lengthy Vermonter ! A gouty whist-player, with his feet stuck out upon a chair, remarked, as he took up four by honors, "A game hand is better than a game leg." "Know thyself," is a Cracian maxim. The advantage of carrying it out is that you wi'l always have an acquaintance at hand, f it isn't quite so dangerous. An ill-natured woman at Saratoga says that "Some women dress to please each other, some to please men, or rather one man, for as a general thing they despise men's opinions on millinery. But the most dressy women don't dress, to please anybody j they dress to worry women. ' "No one' would take you for what you arc," said an old-fashioned gentleman, a day or two ago, to a d.'uuiy, who had more hair than '.brains. ""Why?" was immediately asked:' "Because they cannot Bee your ears,"