Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2696, 28 November 1882, Page 4

A Chicago merchant advertised a ’boy wanted/ and before ho got down town his clerk met him, breathless, and told him that his wife had twin boys. ‘ Oh, it pays to advertise. Uncle Ben White, says an American paper, an antiquated, crippled, and whiteheaded Negro always to be met in Woodward Avenue, begging for a small loan, was looking so proud and conceited that an acquaintance asked him the cause. ’ Well, I does feel a bit stuck up, sah/ replied the old man, as he gave his old hat a new slant. ‘My old woman am black as de spado of diamonds, an' I nebber s’posed she ’mounted to a hill o’ beans, but a few weeks ago she was tooken sick.’ ’Was, eh ?’ ’ Yes, sah; an’ de oder day I called a doctah some sort o’ doctah dat tends on white folks. He looked at de ole woman’s tongue, axed her ’bout a foushan queshens, an’ den he shook his head an’ said dat her system was all runout.' ‘Eun down, you mean.’ ’Yes, sah ; an’ den he tole her dat she mus’ go to de seashore for free months dis summer to git her system back.’ ’ But you can’t even raise 50 cents ?’ * Hat’s so ; but bross you'! can’t we feel tickled an’ stuck up to. know dat my ole black woman am advised to do jist the same as do biggest white ladies in the land ? When the doctah said, she had a system same as rich white folks, an’ dat she mus’ go whar they roll in salti water, dross in silk, an’ put up at a fo’-story hotel, why I jist shouted till doy hoard mo way down in de woods/