A HITCH.

Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2590, 26 July 1882, Page 3

A HITCH.

‘ I hate to see a hitch in a weddin’,’ remarked a farmer from Jamaica way, as he dropped into the ‘Eagle’s’ counting room with a nuptial notice. ‘lt looks bad, and it makes talk,' ‘ Anything wrong about this wedding ?’ asked the clerk as he made change for the old man. ‘Nothing positively wrong, but it didn’t launch like I want to see a thing of that kind. Tou see by the notice that Buck Thomas was marryin’ Mary Bliff, and at one time we begun to think they never would git through the ceremony.’ ‘ What was the hitch ?' ‘ Why, Buck is a Methodist, and Mary is a 'Pisoopalian, and as one wanted one service and the other another, they patched up some kind of a scheme to have both. Neither would go to the other church, but each had their own minister, and the weddin’ come off in the eoheolhonse. The ’Pisoopal minister married Mary, and the Methodist undertook to marry Buck, and there they was taken’ alternate whacks at the thing, and neither paying any attention to the other. The brother fired off a sermon first, and the bride eat down and went to sleep. The ’Piscopalian said as how we’d all dropped in to see the woman j’ined, but be wouldn’t say who to, and wanted to know if there was any objections. That started up the Methodist, who began to ask Buck if he know what a solemn business he was peggen' at, and if ho really meant to take her. All that time the ’Piscopalian was howlin’ somethin’ about this woman, and Mary was say in’ this and that and the other. The Methodist was marryin’ away on his side, and finally wo all brought up agin a stump.’ ‘ How’s that P ’ asked the clerk. * Well, the ’Pisoopalian wouldn't recognise Buck or his minister, and the Methodist wouldn’t have nothin’ to do with Mary or her preacher, and there was no way of gettin' ’em together. Everything was all ready except askin’ them if they’d take each other, and neither one of ’em would do it. Mary and Buck were standin’ hand in hand, and the crowd was gottin’ hungry.’ ‘How did they get through?' ‘They had to compromise. They wrangled round for a time, and finally Buck spoke up of hi* own accord and said he’d take Mary for his wedded wife, and then Mary chipped in and said she’d taka Buck Cor her husband. At that we all cheered and hullered. But there they plumped on another snag.' ‘la what respect?’ inquired the clerk. ‘Because there was no one to pronounce ’em man and wife, Buck tried to reason Mary into lettin’ the Methodist do that part, and Mary argued with Buck and tried to persuade him into listening to her preacher, but it was no use. That brought on another row, and as it was gettin’ nigh on to dakr, we all seen that somethin’ ought to bo done, as we’d been there most all day.’ ‘ Well, did they get married ?’ asked the tired clerk. ‘ Yes ;we fixed it up. The ministers was giftin’ pretty mad at each other, but they agreed that they’d eaoh attend to their own flock, so the Methodist said ‘I now pronounce you man,’ and the ’Piscopalian said “ No I pronounce you wife,’ and they lot it go at that. Then Buck paid the Methodist, and the ’Piscopalian wanted to know where he came in. Buck said he’d hired his man and paid him, and as he was not responsible for his wife’s foolishness before marriage, her parson could whistle for his wealth. I guess there’ll be a lawsuit about it, for the ’Piscopalians say he’ll have half of that fi’ dollar if it takes a leg short off to the armpit. I don’t like to see them hitches at weddin’a. It don’t look right, and it ain’t business.’ With which reflection the old man buttoned up his change and drove home in deep meditation. ‘‘Brooklyn Eagle.’’