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Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2512, 26 April 1882, Page 4

The butchers of Brooklyn have just started, for sociability, " The Leg of Mutton Club." A leg of mutton, well handled ought to make a very good club. A Yankee bicycle dealer has utilised the happy thought of presenting a pair of crutones and a box of court plaster to eaoh purohaaer of a bicycle. He is monopolising the trade. "Hannah," said a landlady to her new servant, " when there's any bad news always let the boarders know it before dinner ; such little things make a great difference in eating in the course of a year." A Udy asked a sculptor who was about completing the figure of a lamb, " Did you cut out that animal?" "Ob, no," said the artist, "The lamb has been there all the time; I only took the marble from around him—that's all." A young lady at an Oskesh temperance meeting said—'Brethren and sitters, cider is a necessity to me, and I must have it If it is decided that we are not to arink cider I shall eat (our apples and get some young man to squeese me, for I can't live without the juice of the apple.' A New England pastor called upon one of bia deacons, with whom he was at variance, and, with an air cf great solemnity said—- ' Brother, it is a shame that this quarrel of ours should bring scandal upon the Church. I have prayed earnestly for guidance in the matter, and have come to the conclusion that you must give in, for I cannot.' Monsieur Prndhomme lauds the advantages of gymnastics. 'There is nothing like it for health,' he says; 'it ino.-eases a man's strength, prolongs hid days ' ' But our ancestors did not practice gymnastics, and yet ' Interrupts a pupil. ' They did not,' returned monsieur, ' and what is the consequence? They are dead, every man of them!' A Chioago man visiting Cincinnati was being shown around by a citizen who said, "Now let's go and see the Widow*' Home." The Chicago man put his finger by the side of his nose and winked, and then he said, ■' Not much. I saw a widow home once, and it cost me 15,000 dollars. She sued me for breioh of promise, and proved it on me. No, sir, send the widows home in a hack." Mrs MoG-innis and Mrs O'Donaghan are rival laundresses, who never meet without a mutual tongue-lashing, frequently ending in a knock-down fight. The other day Mrs MoGr. went to church, and on her return met her enemy, who, being outside of ten cents' worth of lager, was unusually insulting. The O'Donaghan exhausted all her vituperative dictionary without a single retort, but as the McOinnis moved she said gently but firmly—"l have nothing to say to yez, Missis O'Donaghan, to-day, for I've been to my duties, and am in a shtate of grace; but, plaze God, to-morrow I won't be, and then I'll brake every bone in yer body, ye dirty drab!'