TATTLE FOR THE SELECT.

Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2463, 27 February 1882, Page 4

TATTLE FOR THE SELECT.

Those elderly ladies who shake their heads [ over what they term the vapid and silly conversation heard in the ball-room should endeavor to recall the days of their youth, and to recollect whether the aotive exercise of dancing was oonduoive to any but the most desultory of observations, disjointed sentences, questions and answers. A younglady, when asked to dance, now seldom replies with, " I shall be very happy." This phrase has disappeared in company with " May I have the pleasure?" But she says very praotioally, aooording to whether the applioant ia in favor or not, " Certainly ; I am not engaged for this danoe," or, "I'm afraid 1 have not one to nparo, except No. 14, a quadrille," or, " I will give you a dance if you will come for it a little later; lam engaged for the next three dances." To the question of, " Are you engaged for this danoe t" some foolish maidens reply that they do not think they are engaged, at the same time being thoroughly aware they are not, and the young men also are aware that the maidens are finessing and averse to making the direct admission that they are in want of partners. When men over thirty are among the energetic waltzars they endeavor to talk down to the level of their partners, and are apparently content with the responses their questions elicit, whioh questions and answers generally take the form of. "Have you been at many balls this seßson ?" " No, I have not been at many balls yet." Or, "I suppose you are very fond of dancing?" " Yes, I «»m, very." A series of questions and answers such as these will last out a dance, unless a young lady possess sufficient animation and esprit to prove to her partner that she is not quite so insipid as he had supposed, in which case he would desist from this mild form of questioning, and take a rather higher flight—not too high a one, lest he should alarm hor and cause her to consider him eccentric ; neither would she fly too high, for fear of his afterwards speaking of her as " a very odd girl." Thus, a young lady, when asked if she was fond of dancing, would perhaps eay, " I like it very well, but there are many things I like quite as muoh." This would givo hor partner an opening for inquiring as to what amusements pleased and interested her other than that of dancing, when similarity of tastes might be discovered and oorigcnial ideas developed. Affirmatives and negatives close the avenues of talk leading to nothing and nowhere. When this form of roply is neoessary, it should at least be qualified by some additional remark which might possibly prove a handle for discourse. The "Yes I am," and " No, I am not," "Yes, it is," or "No, it is not," or the " Yes, I do," or " No, I do not," form of replies are as ohilling as they are brief, and offer little or no encouragement for making further conversational efforts. Any of these replies, taken singly and qualified even in an interrogative form, would be an improvement upon an uncompromising egotistical affirmative or negative. Ballroom dialogues seldom soar above polite commonplaces relative to the occasion. The ballroom is essentially the place where complimentary nothings are airily uttered and blandly received; nothings of this oharaoter, for example :—" This is our dance, I think," remarks a gentleman, offering hie arm to a lady ; "you are not afraid of my beine able to pilot you through the orowd, are you." If she replies to the speech by an unqualified negative of " No, not at all," her partner would be under the necessity of casting about for a.iother opeuing ; but if, on the contrary, she were to say, " No, I shall bolieve in you until you prove that my confidence is miaplaoed," a young gentleman, on so graceful an admission, could only say, " that he was proud of the trust reposed in him," and "that ho considered himself put upon his trial, as it were," and " that ho was confident of being able to steer his fair partner safely through the crowded ballroom." Complimentary speeches and airy nothings differ from legitimate topics of conversation, and do not admit of muoh strain being put upon them ; if continued beyond the moment, they come dangerously near the region of flirtation; and failing this, they become flat or insipid, all the sparkling effervescence having evaporated. Thus, were a lady in the pauses of the waltz to return to the charge by complimenting her partner on his cleverness in steering her through the orowd, the remark would lose its point, and her partner would consider the speech fulsome and the la ly tiresome. If he wished for a compliment on his performance, he would solioit such when the dance was over, when anything flattering a lady had to say would be listened to with satisfaction. If a lady discovers that her partner is a good waltzsr, a neat way of complimenting him would be to throw out tho suggestion that he had probably been much abroad.

If, as ia sometimes the ca»e, a lady finds that her partner's dancing does not realise her expectations, a polite way of making this opinion known to him, so as to avoid wounding his amour propre, would be for her to say, "I am afraid I am not dancing your stap. Wo do not seem to get on well, do we?" Or, "If you do not mind, I think I think I should like to sit down, I would rather not take another turn just yet." Or she» might say, " What step do you dance ? I do not io»m to have fallen into your step yet." It is usual for young ladies to return to their chaperons after each dance, or after they hare partaken of refreshment or supper, and it is not considered good style for young ladies to remain away from their ohaperons for any length of time. Neither is it considered good style for a lady to promenade up and down and around the ballroom leaning on tho arm of her partner, to take ono turn through the rooma with her partner being in better taste. A young lady should be careful that her partner does not hold her hand upright in the air when dancing, or hold it against his left side, or move it up and down in an ungainly fashion ; neither should a young lady permit her partcer to assist her in holding up her dress when dancing. A gentleman taking a young lady in to supper would reconduct her to the ballroom, as a matter of oourae; the fact of friends joining her in the supper room would not relieve him from this obligation. And the same etiquette applies equally to a lady —she would return to the ballroom only with the gentleman who had taken her down to supper, unless she were engaged for the ensuing dance, when her partner might come in quest of her ; she would then return to the ballroom with him. Tho office of "master of ceremonies" has long since been obsolete, and has not been revived under any other title, and introductions at balls are, therefore, made only by persons themselves acquainted with those whom they introduce to each other. Stewards of a ball do not make introductions, ev n if solicited to do so by strangers attending. When a friend or an acquaintance desires to make an introduction, it is usual to ascertain the wishes of the lady or the inclinations of the gentleman, before doing so, unless aware that a lady is in want of a partner or that a gentleman is anxious to dance with tomo one, and is indifferent as to whom she might be. Indiscriminately made introductions show great want of tant on the part of the person so making them.—The Author of " Manners and Tone of Good Society," in the " Queer."