THE LIMEKILN CLUB.

Globe, Volume XXIV, Issue 2461, 24 February 1882, Page 3

THE LIMEKILN CLUB.

"If I should find a perfectr/ honeßt maar —honest in his expree«ions, honest in hi* dealings, sincere in hie statements—l shouldn't like him," said Brother Gardner, at a meeting , of the Limekiln 01 ub "He would be a lonßesome object in dis aige. He would seek in vain fur companionship. While I believe dat honesty am de bes' policy, I doant look to sen it praotised beyand a cer ain limit. When I trade mules wid a man I kinder like to doubt his word. I want to_ feel dat he am keeping still 'bout de ring boner an' spavins, an' dat de beast he says am jist turnin* fo'teen y'ars will nebber eeo his 21st birthday no moar. It am. monotonous to deal wid a man who am perfeckly honest. If I lend a man money I WBnt him to be honest 'nuff to return it, but if he kin trade me a watch worth three dol lars for a gun worth seben, I shall think none de less of him. If mm were so sincere dat we felt obleeged to believe whateber dey asßsrted, we should hev no use fur theories an' argyments. When I gib my note I expect to pay it. When lax a man how _he» would like to trade his wheelbarrow fur iaj dog, I'm not gwine to inform him dat Csesar am all bark an' no bite, an' he am not gwine to tell me dat he borrowed dat wheelbarrow in de night an' forgot to return it. If a grocer leaves me in charge of his sto' Is* gwine to eot fur halt an hour beside a box of herrings an' keep my hands in my pockets all de time. Yet, if dat same man sells me a pound of tea he expects me to try an" pass off on him a half-dollar wid a hole in it. Oontiner, my frens, to believe dat honesty am de> bes' policy, but doan' expect too much of socalled honest men. You kin trust men wid your wallet who would borrow a pitchfork an' nebber return it. You kin lend your hois to a man who would cheat you blind in tradin* obercoats. You kin send some a pair o' dead ducks at noon day by a man who would steal your live chickens at midnight. When I lend my naybur Mocha coffee I like tn wonder if he won't pay it back in Bio. When de 010 woman buys caliker on a guarantee sherather hopes it will fade in de washinl I solemnly believe dat de world am honest nnff jist as it am. When you gin your word stick to it if it busts de bank. When you do a job of work do it well. When you make a debt pay it. Any man who am mo' honest dan dab will want you to cut a penny in two tomake out his shilling ; he will ring you up at midnight to return your mouse trap ; he wilt take one shingle from your bunch an* offer you de one-hundredth part of what de bunch, cost; he will borrow your boot-jack and insist dat you burrow his wash board to offset it. We will now proceed ta bigness."