A LITTLE HOAX

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2410, 26 December 1881, Page 4

A LITTLE HOAX

’ One morning at breakfast, in the public 'roon/<if "the Continental Hotel, Philadelphia Mr Sothern ; iu “Aunt Judy"), I . obsprvas an old gqnt)eman, who was obviously very mud/ annoyed at the delay of the waiter in bringing his meal. He was continually looking at his watch, and apparently muttermg,oaths of abdominal origin. For a time’l paid little attention to his growls; bat at last, becoming interested, I asked the head wailißr who he was. -He told me it was QenT Sp.-and-80, an irascible old bachelor, one of the regular boarders in the house. While waiting for" my breakfast, I had emptied", my "pockiats-iof the letters which I had to acknowledge that morning, and amongst them found what we call a “ property letter,’’ that bad accidentally found its way among my papers.' A property letter, you know, means a letter used on the stage, apd.thia ope read aafollowa : ’ “ Young ' man I know thy secret. Thou Ipvesfc above thy statidß. If thou haat wit, courage, and discretion, I can secure thee the realisation;, of thy most sanguine hopes. Follow the bearer, &c., “ Beat/seant.” It is the letter which Claude Melnotte reads -in’the-“ Lady'of Lyons.”, It moat naturally.Btrnck ; ise,that I would enclose it in an envelope, and send.it to the old gentleman, ina'watch.’ihe effedt j so, calling one of thh waiters; a coloured man, I told him to go i outside in £be'hall,iTemain for five minutes, and then return and deliver .the letter, saying that,fha writor would" call and.wait for a .reply during,tha'day, /1 also instructed the Waiter; after giving this message, to retire quickly, and notbeseen again in the hotel until the next day, and that I would make it'aH right vrith his chief. ■' Agreeably to mylnstiuetians, in a few minuteS. thps servant walked > up to the General/md put the letter in his bands. The old gentleman adjusted bis spectacles, tore open- the envelope, and in I 'an amazed tone commenced to read, halt aloud, “ Young man/ T know thy secret,’’ and so on. He read it over.two,or three times, and I never saw anybody more thoroughly bewildered. At' last; he called the bead waiter, and demanded .to see . the servant who had delivered, the letter. Of, course, he'Was motto be fohnd.','l!he longer ,he pondered, the : more he looked as if he wanted to rave. In the meantime in came,his breakfast.. j

r “n—the breakfast," he exclaimed, almost kicking,over “I want to, see the lunatic who calls me a ‘ young man,’ and says he 1 knows my secret, and can secure the realisation of my fondest hopes.’: ,jX haven’t got eny secret, and my, fondest hope is to kick the idiot‘who sent me this insane not 6.” ;lJ Duripg thisJime two or three ladies had joined ,me at-.my breakfast table, and, noticing the extraordinary excitement of the General, -asked me if I knew who he was. I told 1 them to 'keep .very quiet, and not to attract his attention; that he was a fratricide and an escaped lunatic. Whose keepers were outside the doors waiting for him, and that the letter Was only a decoy to enable them to ’secure.'him without unnecessary violence.' This thoroughly alarmed the ladies, and they hurriedly left the table, retreating through the door at tha other end of the room. At this movement the second head waiter, whb had noticed the agitation of the ladies, walked up to me,' and asked me if they were ppfc satisfied with their breakfast. ; “Oh, yes 1,” L J replied, “ I presume so ; but the youngest lady is a howling maniac at times, and the instant she saw her father, Qen’l So-and-so, disturbed in his min,d by the letter she had written, I whispered’to her friend to take her out of the room.” ,

In a few moments, having finished my breakfast, I took my own departure. On reaching, the office of the hotel, I inquired of one of 'the principal clerks whether bis head waiter was quite sound in his mind. He asked mi nly reason for making the .inquiry. I said that I didn’t want to get my name mixed nip in the matter, but, it struck me that the one weak point in his intellect was his apparently intense dislike to the General; and-I observed to the clerk : “ Just teat it by going uj) to him [suddenly and saying ‘ Don’t you think yon 1 will get yourself into trouble about that letter of the General’s P ” I •'<.> After breakfast Mr Shogner, the clerk, walked up to the head waiter and abruptly made that remark, "Of course the waiter got very much confused, and stammered, as a than naturally would under the circumstances, in endeavouring to make an explanation ; whereupon I, who was behind 1 him, intimated by signs to the clerk that he had better get out of the way, as the fellow had a knife about him and might become very violent. ’ < . * •

In the meantime I saw the General approach the office to make inquiries, and in a minute or two there was a lively hum of conversation. Half a dozen men were talking loudly and excitedly together, among whom were the clerk and the two principal waiters of the hotel. I hastily paid my bill, seizfed my travelling satchel, jumped into a coach at the door, and was driven away. I never learned what was the result, because I never dared to inquire ; but for an hour or two it was a pretty lively edition of the ‘‘Hornet’s Nest, in three busses and a ganger.** : '• j "- i •[" 1 j