A QUIET BOARDING HOUSE.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2381, 19 November 1881, Page 3

A QUIET BOARDING HOUSE.

(Brooklyn Eagle,”)

“ I have come in answer to your advertisement for board,” said a nervous old lady to a pert miss of thirteen, as the latter showed her into a parlor of all the oomforte of a home eatablishment on Henry street. “ But I won’t come here unless your house is perfectly quiet, now remember that.” “Quiet! well, you may smile,” replied Miss. “That noise yon hear now is the dentist in the basement, pulling out a tooth, but he’ll get it out, if it takes him a month. How much can you afford to pay ? ” “ I think I hear some one upstairs shouting,” said the old lady. “That’s only a young lawyer practising a case. You’ll get used to him. Nobody liked it at first, but we’ve all got used to it and don’t mind it now. Got any children ? We don’t take children, because our babies fight ’em so.”

“ No, I haven’t. Who’s that yelling in the next room ? ’’

“ That’s the landlord trying to .0011601 the rent. You know pa is very deaf, and you’ve got to howl at him. You’ll have to pay in advance if you come here.” “ Good gracious ! What’s that ? ” ejaculated the old lady, as a furious din swept through the lower regions. “ I guess the cook is driving grandma out of the kitchen with the olothespole. She often does that. Have you got much baggage ?” “ Sakes alive ! Somebody is being murdered up-stairs 1 Who is it?" “Oh ! that’s a literary fellow on the top door. Whenever he writes anything he squeals like a pig. But he generally writes at night, and you needn’t pay any attention to him.”

“ What are your terms ? —good heaven, the roof has fallen ini”

“ No, it hasn’t j that’s a college professor, and that’s the way he goes up and down stairs. It you listen you may hear him break his nookl Can you give any references ? Anybody know you ?” “ Certainly ; if I—was that a gun ?”

“ I guess so. My cousin has got a prairie down celler where he hunts Indians and buffaloes and things. Sometimes he’s a road agent, and then he robs us on the stairs. We always allow for it in the board, so it evens up. Got any money of your own P” “ Never mind whether I have or not ; I don’t think I want a room hero, anyway. Let me out, please." "Couldn't let you have one, anyhow;” retorted Miss, preparing to slide down the balustrade. “ There’s only one empty one, and that’s too high priced for you ; besides, you don’t wear very good clothes, and wo prefer not to have you around.” And down the slide she went with a whiz-z, while the old lady pattered off after another home-like house.