Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2347, 11 October 1881, Page 4

When you read the seductive legend in tho tobacconist’s window, “ Our threepenny cigars can’t be beat,’’ remember if they can’t be beet they may bo cabbage. An Irish Alibi.—Pat—“ Where did Tim kill the agint, Dan’l ? ” Dan’l —“ 3hure, down tho road straight there. I see him shoot wid my own eyes ; an’, be jabers, they’ve took him for murder ? ” Pat—“ Tim ’nil bo hanged, poor darlint ! ” Dan’l—“Elver a bit; we’ll prove an alibi. Look at that, now ! Wo prove the agint wasn’t there ! ” A farmer’s daughter in the interior was told by a fortune toller that she would marry a rich s'-enger, and now every lime she sees a clou i of dust up the road she takes out her crimps and puts on a winning sweet look. The Choice of a School—Mrs Beresford Midas —“I’m so glad we’ve put down Plantsgenet’u name for Eton, Bereeford. Here’s the newspaper says there ore more lords and baronets there than ever !” Beresford Midas, Esq (brother and junior partner of Sir Georgious)—“ Ah ! but only one dook. Pity there ain’t a few more docks, Maria.” Mrs Beresford Midas —“ Perhaps there will bo when Plantagonet’s of an age to go there.” Mr Beresford Midas —“ Let's ’ope so. At all events, we'll put down his name for ’Arrow as well; and whichever ’as most docks when the time comes we’ll choose that, yer know.” —“ Punch.”