NEWS OF THE DAY

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2300, 17 August 1881, Page 3

NEWS OF THE DAY

Warning to Pabbnts. — A child narrowly eicaped being drowned in one of the open drains at the works in Kilmore street yesterday. The little girl accidentally slipped in whilst rambling about tho works, and but for the presence of a workman would most probably have lost her life. Parents should bo careful not to allow young children to roam about in such places unattended. Lyttelton Magistrate's Const, A temporary transfer of tho license of tho British Hotel was made this miming from John Robertson to George Haxc-11. Lyttelton Obickbthbs —A new club, to be known as tho Lyttelton Cricket Club, is being formed at Port, and upwards of fitly names of intending members are in the hands of the secretary. How to Judge a Horse—A supercautious person was put into the witness box in the R.M. Court this morning to give his opinion of tho value of a horse before and after an accident which it hud met with. Tho gentleman was difficu't to draw ; he looked round the Court as if every person in it was his enemy. When ho did open out, however, he astonished everybody by his gifts and his power. He said he could sea the horse was a stumbler “by the look of him.” The Magistrate said he must be » singularly valuable man as an expert if his acquaintance with horse phytiognomy enabled him to detect that defect. Perhaps ho would tell the Court how ho did it ? The witness said, “ Well, my opinion of that horse was this : if I went to ride him I should have to carry him in my hand! ” This puzzled his Worship, who sought further explanation ; which, however, did not seem to clear up the matter satisfactorily, for he closed the snbjeot by saying he thought that there was something more Irish in it than bo was accustomed to. Pbksident Qaepihld. —A New York telegram of the 15th inst, states that President Garfield has had a serious relapse. Local Ihdnbtbieb. —The report of the local industries committee, submitted to the House yesterday, recommends that the dis filiation of spirits should be resumed in New Zealand. Death op an Old Colonist. —The wife of Mr Hay Taylor Smith died ot her residence in Great South road, Ashburton, yesterday morning. Mrs Smith, who was in her forty-ninth year, was an early settlor in tho district. Industrial Association. —A meeting of the committee was held yesterday afternoon, the president, Mr Allan, occupying tho chair. The business was of a purely routine character, being to make arrangements for holding the annual meeting of the association, which was done. St. John’s OhNECH, Rangioba.— An entertainment in aid of the funds of this churchwas given in tho schoolroom on Monday evening. There was a good attendance. Songs, recitations, and readings wore given by Mieses Lilly, Shrimpton, Mrs Tribe, Messrs Munnering, Milsom, Aherno, Scott, Bamberger, and others. The entertainment was a very enjoyable one throughout. The Representation Bill. —The debate on the Representation Bill was brought to a close last evening, the second reading being carried on a division by 49 to 16. INTEBCOLONIAL WEATHER EXCHANGE. Sydney, Tuesday evening : There hao been disturbed weather for tho last two days. A marked depression has advanced on Western Victoria, causing easterly winds and heavy rain along tho south coast and westerly winds on the east coast. The barometer at Hobart and Sydney is 30.4, decreasing to 29.9 at Borda. Masonic Temple. —At the usual monthly meeting of the Robert Burns Lodge, 604, S.C., last night, a notice of motion was tabled by Bro. Ferguson, P.M., that a committee be appointed to confer with tho Bt. Augustine and Canterbury Lodges, as to the desirableness of erecting a Masonic Temple on the site now occupied by the 9t. Augustine Masonic Hall. The Pension Question. —An interesting report from the public accounts committee upon this subject will bo found elsewhere. The committee think that, although there has been irregularity in granting pensions to Sir W. Fitzborbert, Mr Gisborne, a:id Dr. Pollen, the circumstances of the several case are such as would render it inadvisable to repudiate liabilities based on tho Governor’s warrants, and therefore recommends that all doubts aa to the illegality of these pensions should bo removed by a special Ant. Oxpobd Tkbbace Mutual Improvement Society. —This society held its usual meeting on Mondoy evening; the Rev. O. Dallaaton (president) in the chair. A large number of members and visitors wore present. After the election of two new members, Mr T. P. Slinn introduced the subject of the evening’s discussion, “ That the Bible be read in our public schools,” in a very able essay, arguing in its favor. An animated debate followed, in which ho was warmly opposed and supported by several members. Tho chairman put tho question to the meeting, w\ ich was carried by a large majority. Readings and recitations were announced for the following week.

But few men can handle a hot lamp chimney and say there is no place like home at the same time. There are some very straightforward people in Galveston. One of them went up to the “News ” cfßcto, and sauntering up to the desk, asked : “ I hear that the Bible has been revised. Do you know if any important changes have been made?” “A good many, I believe.” “ Then there is no mistake about Ananias being struck dead for lying ?” “ No, I believe not." “ Well, if I were you, I would find out about it.” And ho strolled cut as unconcernedly as you pleoso. “ See what a rent the envioue Casca made ” “Bedad, then, I envy tho envious Canker, whoever ho was,” observed an Irish Landlord, who was not well up in tho Bard. The editor of an Ohio weekly paper offers to lead an army of 50,000 men against the Mormons, leaving his paper temporarily in charge of the devil. Self-sacrifice was always a leading trait of the profession. A photographer acted as master of ceremonies at a friend’s funeral, and as ho lifted the coffin lid for tho mourners to look at the remains, whispered to the corpse, ‘Now, look natural.’ Force of habit. —“'Brooklyn Union Argus.” A countryman from Now Hampshire, who had never heard of a bicycle, came lo Boston, and, when he beheld a youth whirling along upon one of those airy vehicles, he broke out into soliloquy thus : —“ Golly, ain’t that queer, Wno’d over ’epoct to see a man ridin’ a hoop skirt.”—“ American Queen.” According lo tho decision of a Kansas judge, both husband and wife are entitled to enter a place of amusement on a ticket reading “ Admit one.” An engaged young man is late in paying his regular visit in the dwelling of hie musically-inclined betrothed. Tho young lady is anxious. The family sympathises with her anxiety. Suddenly tho bell rings and the calm blue sky of peace reappears in the young girl’s eyes as abo exclaims, rapturously, but ungrammatically, “That’s him ! How exquisite his technique is on the bell-pull, and—oh, tho breadth of his ring !” —French newspaper. ‘•Do jour beat” is a good motto, but tho rouble is that many people wont’t even try o do their second best. * Oh, dear !” exclaimed Edith to her doll, o wish you would sit still. I never saw nob an uneasy thing in all my life. Why

don't you act likej grown (elks and be still and stupid for awhile ?’’ The otho' day the Galveston recorder was grossly insulted by a prisoner, who is » regularly ordained chicken-thief, for which offence he was being tried. “ I fine you ten dollars,” said the recorder. “Jedge, ef you will take it out in chickens, I’ll iet yon hah dem chickens you missed last week at ten cents less dan do market price.*