THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2232, 28 May 1881, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Mr H. Towle, who has now attained quite a celebrity from the success of his amateur operatic performances, had a visit from a curious party the other day who represented himself as a scene painter. Amongst other scenes he professed to depict in the forthcoming “ Cloches de Oorneville” was a view of the town of Oornerille. He was very delighted over this scene, as he had, he said, a view of that very place. He subsequently produced this by request. It was a part of an old panorama, but was manifestly an English and not a French view. On being told that certainly was not Oorneville, he answered, “ Well, if that ain't Cornwall it's Penzance, and Chat’s near enough for anything.”

■When I hear people abusing smoking, I think—and find comfort in the thought—that from Sir Walter Raleigh downwards, there have been a very large number of tolerably clever people who indulged in what is often called the noxious weed. In connection with smoke, Henry Kingsley ia “ Geoffrey Hamlin ” has one of the most charming paragraphs he ever wrote, while a very ancient and worthy bishop some two hundred years ago wrote the Smoker’s Hymn, in which he improves the occasion most cleverly and to the point. The following are the closing stanzas of the episcopal poem—- “ And when the pipe grows foul within, Think on thy soul defiled with sin ; For then the fire It doth require, Thus think —and smoke tobacco And seost the ashes oast away P Then to thyself thou mayest say, That to the dust Beturn thou must, Thus think—and smoke tobacco.

I am led to these remarks because I learn that in the present large strides being made in local industries, a firm in Dunedin have started making pipes, very soft sweet pipes too; nicotine absorbing pipes, superior to English ones, and obtainable at the same price. Mr Monro, of Dunedin, is the manufacturer, his agents here being Messrs A. Mcßae and 00., Cathedral square.

A party here who keeps a select private school came into a Christchurch stationer’s shop recently wanting some copy books with the usual head lines. The attendant showed him some which were specimens of a good commercial hand, and mentioned the fact to the intending purchaser. “Oh no,” replied the gay tutor, “ anything commercial would be most unsuitable in my establishment. You see I have none but gentlemen’s sons there.” A good story has reached me from the West, The district, which is a large one, end but sparsely populated, has to depend for its Anglican ministrations on one fortnightly service from the clergyman, end on other occasions the lay element is to the fore. On the parson’s day the newly-born children are christened, and recently one couple were somewhat late in giving notice to the churchwarden, and that functionary hastily wrote down particulars on the back of a blank card, and potting it back into his pocket sought the vestry to hand it to the clergyman, and, whilst explaining the delay, hie hand sought in the wrong pocket for the card, when 10, without looking at what he drew out, he placed in the Eev. Blank’s hand —the right lower of clubs. Tableau.

A Government, which in his case has been especially paternal, has at last made up its mmd that it can dispense with the services of Dr. Bkae. What the special attraction about this cheerful doctor was that induced the authorities to keep him on eo long after the Wellington Asylum inquiry I know not. It is like Artemns Ward’s pork barrel—a deep mystery. But, for the sake of the poor lunatics and doctors, on whose disagreements be bad to adjudicate, I trust we shall not look upon bis like again. The Dunedin Jockey Club have, according to recent telegrams, declared war against the local Press representatives. lam unaware of the exact cause that has induced the ban, but one thing seems certain, the gay reporters are warned off the table around which the Otago Nestors of the turf bold their consultations, except “by invitation,” as the West Coast publicans used to say of the ladies in their advertisements of balls. This is a great mistake. It is a going on the broad path which leadeth to destruction. What did Dr. Johnson write as his last advice to bis most intimate friend ?

“ Never offend a man connected with the press, His wardour of the brain will faithful be, I guess; Years may roll by, but he'll forget it not, Ho writes some day a “ par,” and blows you right to pot.” The contractors, Messrs Stock and Stonhouse, have finished the spire of the Christchurch Cathedral, and during the last few weeks, when the lofty steeple was approach-

ing completion, knots of spectators might hare boon observed, with straining neck and interested eye, watching the movements of the workmen at their lofty work. I was thna engaged one day, when the voice of old Splooge exclaimed in my oar, " It’s a fine building, that Cathedral, Loafer. It’s a pleasure to mo to think that my mite is represented in that massive tenement.” Now, Splooge is a man well to do, but mean enough to steal a potatoe peeling out of a blind sow’s month. I was, therefore, curious to know what his mite represented, and I asked him what amount his well-known munificence had induced him to donate. “ Well,” he said, " I gave sixpence to my son to put into one of the Cathedral Guild subscriptions.” “ Weil done, thou good and faithful servant," I said, " you are, indeed, a liberal cuss.” And he passed slowly on.