MISCELLANEOUS.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2213, 30 March 1881, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

The Yorkshire horse-dealer, who was

“ done ” only once in his life, when he was taken off his guard by a Scotchman, who asked a blessing over a “go” of whisky, is good. A fashionable lady was unexpectedly left withsut a servant. She undertook to make her husband a cap of coffee, bnt it took so long he asked what in the Halifax was the matter with the coffee. " I don’t know,” she said, bursting into tears, “ I’Ve boiled these beans for a full hour, and they are no softer now than they were when I first put them in the pot.”—“ Galveston Nows.” Prince Talleyrand once upon a time summoned his cook, who was none other than the great Oareme, and said to him. severely —“ I am greatly displeased with you. You served me at 8 o’clock yesterday with a salmi whioh. should have been ready at 7 ; and thus my evening’s appointments were all interfered with, and grave matters of State were left unconsidered or only half considered.” “ Will your Excellency deign to inform ms if the salmi was good ?” “It was delicious, sir.’” “ That, your Excellency, was the important point.” 'And, with a profound bow, the artist retired. The successful photographer’s appeal to the baby:—“Hiyi! [Begins to dance.] Howdy dowdy! Ding •a • ling ■ ling ! Whoopee ! [Throws up arms.] You ! you ! you ! Bah-ah-h-h. [Scowls horribly.] See hero ! There ! there ! there! Ching! chang! Ching chung! Ratty tat ! tat! tat! [Demoniacal grin.] Teety-teoty ! Diddie-diddle-diddle! Boo' hoc! boo! Oh, now! Look here hero! Dad ! dad ! dad .' Sugar! sugar! sugar ! Rickorty-rickarty-rickorty ! Bum ! bum! bum! Ah-h-h 1 There! there!” [Bag falls. Artist perspires. Mamma delighted.] Nothing but a Bushman. —At the luncheon given to the Duke of Manchester at Dalby, N.S.W., in the course of his addrees his Grace related the following amusing occurrenco :—“ By-the-byo, talking of squatters reminded him of an incident that occurred whilst he was riding between Jimfcour and Cutnkillenbah. Ho stopped for a drink of water at the house of a man named M’Fie, who asked if the Duke was not coming by with Mr Bell ; on being assured that he was the Duke, M’Fijo shook his head dubiously, and said, “ Go on, you’re only joking,” and despite all his (fho Duke’s) protestations McFie would not be convinced until Mr Bell arrived and e-rtified to his identity, whereupon McFie walked round him and said in despsi-, “ Blessed sf you couldn’t go all tho way to tho Borneo, and they would take you for nothing eld- 'n-.t a bushman.” This excited his ambition, and he felt that chough he could not hope to bo a bushman ho would like to bo a squatter,”