LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2199, 14 March 1881, Page 3

LITERATURE.

PA'S PATENT GATE. [From tho ‘ Burlington Hawkeye. ’] A. PAi E faced, anxioue-iooking man, who looked ns though he supped with sorrow every week, Jives out on .North Hill with ms w fe and seven lovely blooming daughters. He has, with all these seven lovely daughters, only ona front gate, and that is what makes him pale. Last summer he spent 217d0L repairing that front gate, putting in new ones, and experimenting with various kinds ii 1 ,p{5 08 J and after all that the gate swnng all through tho winter on a leatherstrap and a piece of clothes line, and there was peace in the house, and the man grew fat. But when the April days were nigh, it soon became apparent to the man that his troubles wore at hand, and anxiety soon drove the roses from bis damask cheeks and robbed bis ribs of their substance. He nsed to climb over the back fence to avoid calling attention to the disreputable-looking old gate, but his self-denial was of no avail. One evening his eldest daughter. Sophronia, said : ‘ Pa, that horrid gate is the most disgusting thing on this street. If yon can’t afford to have it fixed, I’d tike it away and pat up a stile.' Aid Pa only groaned. But an evening or so later, his youngest daughter came In, and said with considerable warmth : ‘ Pa! I wish you had that beastly old gate tied to your neck, ,tbat’s what I wish.’

And ehe dissolved in tears and evaporated upstairs in a misty cloud, while her sisters followed slowly, casting reproachful looks at Pa.

And the next evening his third daughter, Azalia, came bounding into the room about 9.30 p.m., with her gloves in a condition to indicate that_ she had been patting gravel, and eaid, with some energy, that if Pa had no feeling other people had, and she wished she was dead, she did, and ehe hoped that the next time the Pa we nt out from that hateful old gate he’d fall from Arch street to the bridge, so ehe did. And she broke down and disappeated with a staccato accompaniment of sobs and sniffles, And the next time that Pa went nut of that gate he found it prostrate between the two posts, and saw that the fragrile strands of the clothes.line had parted under tome extraordinary pressure, and that was what ailed Azalea’s gloves. Pa saw there was nothing for it bnt a new gate, and be groaned aloud as he viewed the dreary prospect of furnishing gates to support the manly forms of the best young men of Burlington for another summer. He pondered, and pondered, and pondered. He became the confidant of carpenters ; he was of teen seen guiltily showing certain plans and drawings to blacksmiths and cunning worker* in Iron and steel. And In due time he had a new gate up, a massive gate, with great posts, ornamented and substantial, and tho seven sisters were pleased. They road in the little brass plate that Informed them that a patent was applied for, the words, ‘ for 130 pounds,' but they didn’t know what It meant until last evening. Last evening the weather, though sufficiently cool to be bracing, admitted a test of the new gate, A murmur of voices arose firm the vicinity cl that popular lover’s retreat, as Sophronia swung idly to and fro on its heavy frame. Presently a pale faced man, who held his hand upon his breast to still bis beating heert, as he crouched lu a dark corner of the po, ch, heard Rodolphus say ; ‘But believe me, Sophronia, my own heart’s idol, between the touches of the rude hand of ti——”

As he began the word be leaned forward and bent his weight upon the gate, and with, a sharp click a little trap-door in the side of tho post flew open, and with a gaunt manyjointed arm of steel, with au iron knob as big as a Virginia gourd on the end of it, flew out and, with the rapidity of lightning, hit Rodolphus two resounding pelts between the shoulders that resounded like a bassdrum explosion. ‘Oh-h-h! gcshl’ he roared, ‘l’m stabbed ! I’m stabbed 1’ and, without waiting to pick up his hat, he fled, shrieking for the doctor, while Sophronia rushed into the house, crying—- ‘ Pa! Pa !Pa ! Rodolphus is shot!’ and swooned.

Tho pale-faced man said nothing, but shrank otill further back Into the shadow, and thrust his handkerchief into bis mouth to stifle a smile. Pretty soon ho knew the voice of his daughter Azalea at the gate saying good night. But a rich, manly voice detained her, and tho measured swing of the gate was again heard in the distance.

t oon he hoard Lorenzo say, as he made ready to climb upon the gate : ‘ But whatever of sorrow may await our future, dear one, I would it might fall upon mo ’ And just as ho lifted his foot from the ground the trap opened and the gaunt arm react ed out and fell upon him with that big knob four times, and every time it reached him Lorenzo shrieked : * Bleeding heart! O mercy, mercy, Mr Man 1 O murder !' And as he ambled away in the starlight, wailing for arnica, Azalea fled widely to her home shrieking, ‘ Oh, Pa, Pa, Pa! Homebody is murdering Lorenzo.’ And on the porch a pale-faoed m»n thrust tho rim of his felt hat into his mouth to reinforce his handkerchief, and hugged himself into placid content. Pretty soon the man’s fifth daughter came home from a party, and she, too, perched on the gate. And in a moment or two Alphonso said—- * But, my own Miriam, would I could tell you what I feel Bat ho didn’t, for just then he loaned upon the gate, the gaunt srm reached ont and felt iron, and knocked his breath so far out ci him that he couldn’t shriek until he had run half a mile from the house screaming that Lorenzo had a fit. And the pale-faced man ro-o out of tho shadow and emptied hie mouth, and as he stood under the quiet starlight, looking at the gate whoso powerful but delicate mechanism repelled an ounce of weight over 130 pounds, a look cl ineffable peace stole over the pale face, and the smile that rested on the quint features told that tho struggle of a lifetime was ended in victory, and a gate had been discovered that could sot at naught the oppressions of thoughtless young people.