LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2169, 7 February 1881, Page 3

LITERATURE.

THAT TERRIBLE DENTIST. A Story of the Strand. I suppose no one would imagine that anything particularly horrible or ghastly could arise out of a mere ordinary visit to the dentist. This is altogether so commonplace and every day an occurrence that, though you naturally regard it with painful apprehensivenees and repugnance, you do not see how anything extraordinarily horrid could possibly spring from it. Nevertheless the most terrible adventure that it has ever been my lot to pass through resulted simply from my going to have a tooth extracted.

The tale I am about to relate may seem to be somewhat prosaic in its materials, bnt it is at least a true narration of an incident that befell me, and one that was impressed so forcibly upon my mind as to leave a vivid remembrance behind it; vivid, indeed, even yet, though years have elapsed since it happened. My story rests npnn a rather rare case in medicine occurring at an odd moment, and when the combination of oiroum s tancßß rendered it—to me at least - appalling and terrible. But you shall judge for yourselves. It was the afternoon before Christmasday, in the year 186—, and I had left the office, and was strolling along the Strand towards Hungerford bridge, intending to take the train from Waterloo to Richmond, where my sister and brother-in-law lived, with whom I had arranged to spend my Christmas holiday. The afternoon was still young—it being only abont two o’clock, I think—and I was not really due until shortly before seven, my sister's dinner hour. Accordingly I was in no particular hurry ; and being reminded by the sight of a bill of fare temptingly displayed in the window of a restaurant that I had not as yet lunched, I turned into the place to get a snack of something. Whether it was that the meat at this establishment was unusually tough, or whether it was simply my destiny, I do not 'know ; but one thing is certain, that while eating I was unhappy enough to break a tooth.

It was one of my back teeth, molars, an old offender that for long before had caused me trouble at times, and that had now chosen the most unpropitions possible moment to break off by the gam, and worse than all to plunge me straightway into all the torments of an aggravated attack of toothache.

What was to be done ? Here was I, just storting forth to meet a merry assemblage of Christmas guests, old and young, bound to be jolly from the moment of my arrival, and for several days to come bound to oat, drink, and be merry among the merry, ae English people consider necessary at this season.

And who was to be jovial, or even cheer' ful I should like to know, with a raging, racking, rasping toothache, causing one endless misery all the time ?

There was no help for it now; the longpostponed visit to the dentist could be de-' ferred no longer. I must go and get my aching stump extracted, and go down to Richmond without it, and also without, as I fervently trusted, the pain that was now consuming me. So, having made up my mind, I called the waiter and paid for my half-unfinished lunch, telling that commiserating official of my misfortune, and inquiring'whether he knew of a good dentist in the near neighborhood to whom he conld direct me.

* Dentist, sir ? Yessir 1’ he replied, after the manner of waiters, and as though taking an o’ der for some comestible : • ’t apa of dentists round about ’ere, sir. There’s a gentleman hoppersite, but Vs away by now ; and, you see, air, bein’ as it’s ’oliday time, and has moat of ’em bonly ’as consulting’rooma in the Strand, and lives somewheres helse, I don’t know as you’ll heasily find one close by ’ere. But I’ll ask the chief waiter, sir ; I dossay Vil know of one.’ The chief waiter being appealed to did know of one, a Mr Masseter, let us call him, who was in the habit of dining at the restaurant very frequently, and who lived close by. His address was No. Lewis street, one of those small streets leading off the Strand down towards the river, and he was most likely to be found at home. ‘And,’ added the waiter, pocketing my doucenr, 4 don’t yon take no notice of ’is looks, air ; Vs a queer tin to look at is little Mr Masseter, but a good nn at ’is business, so I’ve ’eard, and cheap, sir; and I 'opes you’ll get relief of your pain, sir; and a merry Christmas, thankee, sir. ’ I turned away and songht the street I had been directed to, finding it with some trifling difficulty ; but once in Lewis street I bad no trouble in discovering the house I sought, since a brass plate bearing the inscription ‘ Masseter, Surgeon-Dentist,’ sufficiently indicated it. It was an ordinary dnll brick dwelling honse, uniform with its neighbours; and in the murky December atmosphere the whole narrow street looked about as uninteresting and uninviting for a place of residence as any that intersect that quart. 1 r. I rang the bell, and presently the door was opened by a person whom the waiter’s brief description of him I had no difficulty in recognising as the dentist himself. 4 Ah,’ he remarked, when I had explained the reason of my call, ‘ yon are lucky to be jnst in time. I was intending to go ont of town till Monday, and not expecting any patients I was just about to start. My housekeeper and servant are gone as xt is, so if you had been half an boar later, you would have found only an empty house. But step in and come upstairs.’ So saying, he ushered me np to what he jocularly termed his 4 torture - chamber,’ remarking as he did so that Christmas was an unseasonable time at which to be suffering from toothache, since such an extra amount of mastication was supposed to be required there. • But never mind,’ he added, ‘we’ll soon be all right now, and ready for any amount of turkey and goose.’ Mr Masseter indeed was, as the waiter at the dining-rooms had intimated to me, a most extraordinary looking man He was short and small, not much over five feet in height I should think, and he was also somewhat deformed. He had a humpback, or at least much the appearance of one given him by a pair of high eloping shoulders, a projecting neok, and what is generally called a pigeon breast. His legs were bowed, and his feet unshapely, while his arms were of unnsnal length, and terminated in large bony knnckly hands. Unfortunately for him, poor man, the list of deformities did not end here, but was augmented by the appearance of the head and face. The little gentleman’s head was large and long ; he was bald over the forehead, and his hair, clipped short and bristly, showed a surprising field of bumps and excrescences, interesting no doubt to a phrenologist, bat unsightly enough to an ordinary beholder. Then his eyes were small and beady, a trifle crossed L fancied, bat bright and twinkling like ferrets. His beard was thick and full, but; was trimmed to a point that appeared usually elevated in advance of the rest of his person, and so made more remarkable the long lank face. Hair and beard, and also a pair of beetling eyebrows, were of a peculiar rusty rod color that showed np in sickly contrast against a shiny sallow skin, and somehow seemed to remind me of rotten apples. The room into which the dentist led me was what Londoners call the first floor front. There was nothing unnsnal in it beyond what one commonly sees in a dentist’s consulting room. It was furnished sombrely and heavily, with leather covered ohairs, ponderous book cases, and dark coloured hangings and oarpet. There were two windows, and a sort of table secretaire stood below one of them, loaded with dental Instruments and appliances. Another table occupied a corner, bearing several mahogany cases of suspicions appearance; while a movable gaslsmp of nnnsnal shape stood on a etind near it, _ 1 he mantelpiece, above a fireplace in which a small fire was apparently dying out and various brackets and bookshdvea were piled with plaster casts and other general dental litter. With exception of these particulars the apartment presented the general aspect of a study or sitting room. Stay, no ! 1 have omitted one detail of importance. In the centre of the room, and facing one of the windows, stood the chaiß, that horrid combination of bolts and bars, sliding rests and ■crews, that a oarions generation knows only too well. I looked at this engine with much the same feelings that a heretic in the judgment

hall of the Inquisition might be supposed to regard the sheeted rack in the dark corner. There it stood, seeming to carry an air of infernal triumph about it, and wearing » wolfish look in every joint and screw. I think some dim presentiment of what was to happen to myself, mingled with those nervous apprehensions that any one may experience when they set eyes on the dentist's chair.

Flanking the chair on either side were two pillar-like stands, the one containing the usual water conveniences, and the other being, as I afterwards discovered, a receptacle for the apparatus used in generating and administering protoxide of nitrogen or ‘ laughing-gas,’ as it is popularly called. In these days, when a visit to a dentist is no uncommon occurrence in the lives of any of ns —worse Inck ! —I daresay you are surprised at my retaining for so many years such a full remembrance of the little details with which I have just furnished you. But if will have patience to bear with me to the end of my s’ory. J think you will see no reason to wonder that my memory has been so precise.

By the way, have you ever observed the curious transformation that comes over you directly the door closes behind yon, and you are once fairly within the dentist’s sanctum ? That you have left your toothache bch'nd you in the street, or in what schoolboys aptly term ‘the funking-room, ’ is an experience that surely no one will gainsay ; but there is a farther manifestation of the same feeling that I would draw your attention to. At the moment when the door has closed, and yon feel that you are now entirely in the power of the gentleman who Is abont to operate on your offending ‘ivories,’ you become conscious of a feeling of moral abasement taking possession of yon. However mild mannered be the individual dentist yon confront—and these gentlemen are preeminent for their suavity—you have a singular desire to treat him with the most exaggerated courtesy. Yon would like to bow constantly, and address him as 1 Sir I’ Yon laugh feverishly and inordinately at the tamest and stupidest joke he may emit. You abase yourself before him, feeling that he is to be your executioner in some sort, and that yon are helplessly and utterly in bis power. I had all that feeling on the occasion I am telling of, and I think it was somewhat mo • absorbing than common, though there was nothing in especial to have caused them. I suppose it was presentiment of my coming fate. Well, after a few preliminary questions, which be scarcely permitted me to answer, Mr Matseter, with the dexterity of his craft, adroitly piloted mo Into the chair. Once safely within its embrace, I became like plastic dough under his manipulation. He hovered over me, examining my month, in a ghoul-like manner that was in itself sufficiently discomposing ; and while he kept up a perpetual undercurrent of—‘Now, I’m not going to hurt you in the least ! It's perfectly painless ! Won't pain at all ! Now don’t be afraid ; I won’t hurt you, won’t hurt you I ’ ha yet prodded and tapped with relentless and cold-blooled ferocity, putting me to excruciating and indescribable agony, I recalled to mind the waiter's eulogies on this operator, and as he kept up the monologue just mentioned and its accompanying practical disproof, I thought to myself that there could be no mistake : Mr Masseter evidently did ‘ know his business.’ ‘ Now.’ said the little man, after ho had finished his explorations, * I'll tell you what, sir : that’s a very awkward stamp of yours 1 It may give me a little trouble to extract ; and oome out It must, if you are to be freed from pain. Now what do you say to taking the gas, eh ? It's perfectly harmless; effects don’t last ten minutes ; and it will save all pain. Lnckily the apparatus is all ready, as I was using it this morning ; and I won’t charge you anything extra for it. Come, now, what do you say?’ This ho accented with divers grins and gestures that he probably meant to be cordial and persuasive, but that only served, nofortuately. to render his singular appearance more uncouth if possible. However, I felt his proposition to be so reasonable and kind that 1 at once assented to it.

Immediately that I had signified my willingness to be put under the influence of the gas, Mr Masseter opened the stand or case that I mentioned, and having arranged the apparatus within It, he drew from it a coil of tabs, one end of which was in connection with the gas-rcoeiver, and the other was furnished with a sort of month or nosepiece. This mouthpiece ho adjusted to my face as I sat back in the chair, telling me to respire gently. (To be continued.)