HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2141, 5 January 1881, Page 4

HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.

" Is my old man in limbo ? " she naked as ■ho filled up the doorway with her 200 pounds of avoirdupois. Bijah looked up from his sweeping, rogarded her closely for a few seconds, and then began humming—"ls my old man in jail to-day ? Is he behind the bars ? " " We bad a little falling out last evening," sho went on as she holped herself to a chair, or rather two of them, "and ho fled tho house. I rather expeoted he'd gee drunk and bo run in hore, and I tuought I'd drop down this morning and ask him how he liked it as t'ar as ho'd gone. This married business seem to worry some folks, but I never let it trouble me at.y.'' " What sort of a looking clothespin is your old man ? " asked Bijah. " Well, he's scrnggy. Take the whole town together and you ouuldn'S match him for scrigginess. He's mean by look and nature, and not one woman in a thousand could manage him." " How do you work it P" "I let him jaw and blow and go on for about an hour. Then I tell him to shut up. If he doesn't I make him. Sometimes I give him tho grand flop and sit down on him, and again I bounco him out of doors." " Do you love him ?" solemnly asked Bijah. " I never thought to ask myself," she replied. " Somebody had got to marry him and train him up, and it happoned to be my luok." His Honor came in at that moment and 'began to rush out the papors, and in a very abort time HBB SCBAGGT HUSBAND Put in an appearance. She had rightly described him. A fall from a fourth storey building into a bed of mortar would have failed to improve him. He had got drunk, as she predicted ,acd been arrested while picking a fuss with a boy ten years old. " Charles Adams, did you have any trouble with your wife laßb night ? * asked the court. " Sho camo home drunk, and I left tho premises," he replied. The fat woman now waddled forward, and the first the prisoner know of her presence she had her fingors in his crop of carroty hair, and lifted his heels clear of the floor. " I'm tho wife referrod to," Bhe exclaimed to the court. " Did ho say that I was drunk ? " "No ; I said you were cross," replied the husband. "Suppose I was?" she queried as she raised him again. "'Has a wife got to be always on the grin? Is she expeoted to be honoy every hour in the day ?" " I think you can manage him'" observed his Honor, as ho looked over the desk. 'La ! Judge, but don't waste any time on any such flung-together human as ho is !' she answered. ' Manage hira ? I could manage a whole aero of such jackals ! You go right on with your cases, and I'll take him home and see that he doesn't bethcr you any more.' Charles hung back, but a grip at his scalplock fetched him, and the pair marched out of Court amidst general applause.