HIS HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2076, 19 October 1880, Page 3

HIS HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT.

As we have said before somewhere, the enterprising editor who endeavors to run a " Household Department " without the aid of a female writer will come to grief sooner or later. One day last week the proprietor of the Cloverdale "Cleanup " was startled by a whole tornado of raps at his sanctum door, on the other side of whioh he presently beheld a small mob of matrons of the vicinity, eaoh of whom bore an expression of indignant determination on her face, and a dish or pan under her arm.

" Are you the —the —party who Baid in last week's paper that salad dressing could be improved by an ounce of cayenne and some powdered borax P " said one. " I—l—suppose so," admitted the editor. " Oh ! you are, eb," said the woman, displaying a sticky green compound. "Well, perhaps you'd like to finish this lot. I've got four children home at the point of death from it now." " And you are the miserable liar who stated that the only way to clean sealskin was to boil it in milk?" screamed another, holding up what appeared to be a drowned puppy. "Look at that."

"I—er—ahem —really— " mumbled the wretched journalist, "The printer must have mixed it up with the broken china item." " And didn't you print a recipe saying that a few pinches of copperas gave a rich dark color to sponge cake ? My husband has been throwing up Bteadily since day before yesterday morning," sobbed another, exhibiting what appeared to be a hunk of stone coat. " Yes," put in another irate dame, holding up a tattered basque; " and you said that vitriol would take ink staicsoutof velvet. You disgusting old pirate!" " I—I —think it must have been my assistant, Clipem," stammered the editor, " I don't think I wrote anything for that isßue except a leader on our 'Accursed Monopolies.' " " That's too thin," shrieked another devested female, putting up a green veU aDd displaying a parboiled countenance. " Didn't you advise me, down at the market, yesterday, to cut out your infallible Oriental recipe for taking out freckles ? It took 'em out, and the skin with 'em ; and the doctor says it is two to one I never see out of that eye again. There! You're welcome to what's lett! " . ~ , And the halfsoalped victim broke a bottle on his nose, while the rest hammered him over the head with assorted slabs of indigestion, built according to the " Cleanup's " specifications ; rammed unrisen dough into his mouth, and poured a coal tar, arsenic, and sulphur remedy for cbioken pip down the back of his neck.