WHIMSICALITIES FROM THE WITNESS BOX.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2073, 15 October 1880, Page 3

WHIMSICALITIES FROM THE WITNESS BOX.

The acoustical properties of the Resident Magistrate's Court were yesterday tested to their utmost. A lady of the Hibernian persuasion, with a strong Prenoh accent, had a tale to tell, and she told it. What it was about is neither Here nor There, whatever Dolly may say to the contrary. Her yarn was mingled. It took in matters that the Court, although it stretched to the utmost its wellblown gallantry to the sex, was obliged to concede were, strictly speaking, not within the record, and mildly intimated its opinion to that effect several times. She bowed always to the decision of the Court, but she had her say, nevertheless—yes, she had her eay. Commencing in the body of the Court, she maintained a dropping fire as she ranged tip to the witness box, and when once there fired off verbal broadside after broadside in the most astounding and chromatically stunning manner. Fixing her regards on the small bald patch belonging to the head of a gentleman near her, she half closed her eyes and reeled off, as if she were hailing a ship on the ocean, a flood of fluenoy never equalled save in the palmiest days of Captain Barry's chairman. The man who brought her there felt troubled, after a while, and wished he hadn't. The Court, as time and her tongue sped on, grew more urgent in its remonstrances, and the head bailiff a small, nervous, shy young man—often twitohed the lady by the sleeve without any other effect, leemingly, than to oil her bearings, so to speak. At length, after having floored her opponent, deaved the Court, and convinced everybody that it was time to end the seance, she retired from the witness box with flying colors and a judgment in her favor, leaving on the minds of thene present a lasting conviction of the value of beauteous woman's eloquence.