UNDER AN EGG SHOWER; OR THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN WILLIAM JACKSON BARRY.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2064, 5 October 1880, Page 3

UNDER AN EGG SHOWER; OR THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN WILLIAM JACKSON BARRY.

[From the “ South Canterbury Times.”] In accordance with an announcement, the far-famed Captain W. J. Barry put in an appearance at the Oddfellows’ Hall, Timarn, ! last evening, for the purpose of delivering a lecture on ‘ What I saw in England,’ The chairman for the occasion was a friend to whom the captain had been introduced at ‘ the Club’ under a plebeian patronymic, bat who, to his subsequent surprise and delight, he was assured was no other than a Count. An audience of nearly ICO male readouts, including many leading tradesmen, assembled, and punctually at eight o’clock the Captain and his distinguished chairman, in orthodox broadcloth and faultless linen, strode across the platform. Captain Barry had no sooner delivered his beil-topper on the table in front than an egg of ancimt flavor was delivered on his shoulder. The lecturer rose excitedly, but the chairman, waving his hand majestically, exclaimed : * Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you a new arrival from the old country. He tumbled off a private car in Princes street, Edinburgh, and was insensible for four hours, otherwise we might not have seen him.’ [Oprrar.] Capta'n Barry (looking savagely at h's egg bespatteaed shoulder) —Gentlemen, do you think I’m deserving of this treatment ? Turn that man out, [Renewed uproar.] Whoever threw that egg is no man. Ho threw it at an old colonist of fifty-one years’ standing. [Laughter] Just let me know him, and I’ll make him as his mother would not know him. [Renewed laughter and uproar,] I’d like to screw his neck round. (Gesticulating threateningly) Turn him out.

The Chairman—This, gentlemen, ia Captain William Jackson Barry. [Screams of laughter.] The Captain descended from the platform, and marched through the audience calling out in threatening accents, ‘ Where’s the man that threw that egg I’ Someone assured the captain that the egg was meant for the chairman and not for the lecturer, and this had a pacifying effect. On remounting the stump, the Chairman amidst yells of merriment introduced the lecturer as a good authority on “ Dartmoor Gaol.” The lecturer then began by askirg for a hearing, and remarking that after they had heard him they might ‘have some difference of opinion as to who he was.’ [Laughter and uproar.] After he had finished he did not think they would throw eggs at him. Someone had got a down on him or his friend, but it was not a gentlemanly trick. [The lecturer resumed dusting the egg off his shoulder.] He would read and exhibit the letter he got from the Queen, and teli them * What I done in the Old Country when I were there. ’ [Laughter ] He was not a Beaconsfield, a Gladstone, or a John Bright, but an ‘ eggsperienced ’ colonist. [A voice—‘Eggsperienced,’ and laughter.] Captain Barry proceeded to trace his descent from a veterinary surgeon, and described how at an early age he set out in a vessel that sprang a leak and ran short of water, [Laughter.] On the trip ‘ twentyfour deaths died from measles ’ [Renewed laughter, amidst which the chairmau, by ducking bis head, allowed an egg to distribute itself on the curtain behind ] After relating what occurred to him in Sydney, the Captain said he left ‘ New Olland,’ and visited New Zealand, where he saw the first ‘missionars’ Of these he had a doubtful opinion, for he declared that ‘ the Maoris were as honest as churches till they got enlightened by the missionars.’ Bis next exploit was floating on the back of a whale [Fells of laughter and incredulous cries ] ‘ They mightn’t believe him, but a sperm whale could float half a dozen.’ [‘Glory, hallelujah !’ in doleful accents, and laughter. An egg just missed the tip of the chairman’s nose.] Captain Barry continuing— Gentlemen, I’m a-telling you facts—[renewed laughter] ~The captain next fell into the hands of Smith, a transported butcher, who * took me by the hand and raised me to the years of manhood ’ Hanging was fashionable in those days, and he had seen seventeen hung of a morning. [‘Glory, hallelujah !’ laughter, uproar, and two eggs, one of which nearly scalped the captain,] Gentlemen—lf you like you can leave and take back your money. [A Voice —‘ That’s what we want.’] I’ll give you my experiences if you want them, but you must be quiet. The Chairman (rising)—l protest against the eggs. [Laughter ] Captain Barry (holding up his autobiography)—l’m a going to speak of the outlines of this book that I've written about. [Uproar.] Quiet restored he proceeded to narrate his adventures with the Australian aborigines, how he sat behind a lubra and feasted on the refuse flung over the shoulders of lubra and blackfellow. Ho admonished the ‘ new chums’present that there was ‘no tussock - ing’ now, but plenty of railways for them to live on, and yet they grumbled. [Laughter.] Captain Barry—l next went to the Chinee war, [Roars of laughter. ] The Kaleeforny diggings broke out, and I went to Kaleeforny. [‘ How many men did you kill there ? ] Soon after that New Zealand broke out. [‘ What a smash ?’ Uproar and laughter.] I went there and I sat down to write my life in Queenstown when I was an auctioneer there. [Renewed laughter.] I did not know what to do, but I stumped the country and got 3800 subscribers. Being at low water ebb I went to Dunedin. [‘Glory hallejujah!’ in melancholy tones. The chairman sprang to bis legs as another egg passed midway between his right ear and the captain’s left shoulder, leaving an enlarged representation of a cowslip on the canvas. ] Here a large egg that had winged its way from the body of the room exploded with a alight report above the chairman, and one of the audience rose to ask ‘if smoking would bo allowed.’ Captain Barry related his interview with the claimant, when he knew on Ballarat. Having heard the claimant’s story, ho (Captain Barry) eaid : ‘lf you were transported for saying you were’nt Arthur Orton, then, you are here under a mistaken identity.’ [Roars of laughter.] Two eggs, one of which glanced against the chairman’s forefinger, induced the • Count’ to leave the chair and take refuge at the wings, but he speedily resumed his seat amidst a scene of indescribable tumult. Captain Barry (excitedly)—l want to know if those eggs were aimed at me. [f< o ! no !] I must say the Timaru people are a rowdy lot. [Laughter.] In all my travels I never saw such people as calls themselves gentlemen. A scene of terrible uproar ensued, in which a largo mastiff took part, barking furiously.

I Captain Barry—l’m a colonist of fifty years’ standing, and I’m not going to stand and be pelted. [Screams of laughter.] I made hundreds of pounds out of my lectures. All yon clever men who are boobooing, could you start with 17a fid and do as much ? [Uproar.] The Chairman —Now then ; give the captain a chance. [Several screams.] Captain Barry at this stage read a testimonial from 300 Duneiinites and a letter from Sir George Grey, adding ' If I went Home a pauper, I didn’t come back a pauper.’ [Uproar.] The Government paid his passage and gave him some pocket money, and when this was done he called on Sir Julius Vogel and asked for supplies. Sir Julius tried to rub him off by saying that immigration had ceased, but he (Captain Barry) had known Sir Julius when he was in Dnnolly and Maryborough, and he replied, ‘You must do something, Julius, I’ve only 17a fid left, and I’ve been away fifty-two years and dons know where my friends are.’ [Laughter.] With that Sir Julius gave me £ls. [Applause and laughter ] Captain Barry, amidst severe interruptions and derisive cries of ‘Gracious me! You don’t say so, &o,’ related how he mixed with lords and marquises till he reached the Duke of Cambridge, when his voi-.-e was drowned by a scene of confusion. Resuming, he told how he lectured to ten thousand of an audience. [Yells from the unbelievers.] Captain harry—lE you don’t believe me I have it here in my papers. I got great praise in the English papers, including the “ Times ” whith I hold it here. [ Laughter.] The lecturer, opening his carpet bag, withdrew a lot of papers, and opening a book with a bright red cover, said ho would read the Queen’s letter. [A. voice—‘Give us a song.’] Captain Barry—Well, I will: Who wrote a book of wondrous tales, And stories about hulks and jails. And floated on the backs of whales. Chorus by the audience— ‘ Captain Jackson Barry.’ A Voice— ‘ Why didn’t you do like Jonah ?’ Captain Barry—l weren’t such a fool as to got inside. [Renewed laughter.] I toll you I have been between two live lords in Hyde Park. I was not in the swim there, was I ? [Laughter.] It’s not a rotten egg you ought to throw at me. There is not a working man in thejeountry but is indebted tome. [Uproar, cries of ‘Chair,’ ‘Dry up,’ ‘ Pat him out,’ &o.] Capt.ia Barry—lf you’ll allow mo I’ll read the Queen’s letter. Renewed uproar ensued in the course of which the ‘Count’ suddenly vacated his chair, just in time to escape a goose egg of largo dimensions which broke against the back, and fell with a loud liqnid sound in the hollow of the seat. Captain Barry was repacking his books and documents when Mr Marshall, the boatman, demanded to know his age. < 'aptain Barry—l told you X was born in 1819. Mr Marshall—Did you know Smith the gambler in California P Captain Barry (addressing the audience) — Smith be hanged. Mr Marshall here began to interrogate the Captain about his acquaintance with the Victorian digging', challenging Barry with never been at Brown’s, while the Captain rejoined by declaring that Marshall ‘ never was at Fryer’s Creek in his life.’ Mr Marshall (at the top of his voice) —I was there. Gentlemen, I was an Ebenezer. [Roars of laughter.] Captain Barry (with his bag in his right hand and his left extended towards Marshall) —He’s as mad as a March hare, I do believe. I’m sorry to say you have not heard my lecture. At this stage the Captain descended to the body of the hall, where he excitedly mounted a form, and asked those who threw the eggs to step forward, exclaiming, ‘ I’m an old ’un, but I’m game yet; come on single handed ; young or old, I’m not afraid. One at a time,’ &c.

On reaching the outside of the hall an endeavor was made to assure the offended captain that the rotten eggs were intended for his chairman and not himself. The Captain retorted that if he had known he would not have visited Tiraaru for £SO.

Finally a warm argument arose, and as there weresignsofarow, the Captain, who was the chief bone of contention, was persuaded to retrace his steps to the hall, and the crowd was left to disperse.