THEATRE ROYAL.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2056, 25 September 1880, Page 3

THEATRE ROYAL.

“LYTTELTON TIMES” SICK FUND BENEFIT.

The annual performance by the members of the Lyttelton Times Siok Fund Society in aid of their funds took place last evening, when there was a crowded house. The amateurs had the benefit of the able assistance of Mrs Walter Hill, Mies Arethusa May, and Miss Bessie Vivian, a combination which, added to the excellent performance of the various parts by those to whom they were entrusted, rendered it a most enjoyable entertainment. The first piece selected for the occasion was Byron’s comedy of “Old Soldiers,” but prior to the rising of the curtain Mr O. Hull delivered the following prologue, written by Mr Ludford for the occasion ’Tis not in mortals to command success, t'ays Addison ; and shall we then say less ? Surely, by efforts in a worthy cause We may deserve, if not command—applause. A year ago, yon witnessed enr debnt; To judge what onr success, wo leave to yon. A year ago, when first we made our bow, We saw the self same kindly gleam as now. Hnndicds of hands, all ready to applaud ; Hundreds of lips, our amateurs to laud. And, though no Brooke, Montgomery or Kean, Amongst our actors will to night be seen. Yet if your praise by effort can bo gained, Already is that praise quite half attained. Do yon enquire in what direction flows Your kind assistance, and how far it goes ? Go, ask'.that man of plasters, drags and pills— The much respected, skilful Dr. NqnilU, Who benefits by others’ aches and pains, And kills or cures, whilst adding to his gains. A pale, dyspeptic patient seeks advice ; The doctor scans him over in a t ice.

" Ah ; very bad indeed ! put ont your tongue. Hum ! Yes. I see. Have you been ailing long? Bad case indeed—lead-poisnned by yonr trade— A fatal case, I’m very much afraid 1 Congested liver—blood by far too tbin— A feeble pulse, and phthisis setting in Vonr nervous system thoroughly unstrung— Digestion gone, and not a bit of mng— What blond yon have all rushes to your head— In fact, poor soul, you’re more than three parts dead. Don’t be alarmed, while thus your rase I scan ; I’ll do my best, and save you if I can. Go home to bed, get wrapped up to your nose, Then, put some red hot brickbats to your toes j Keep very still, and utter not a word. Don’t be afraid, for that would be absurd. Just live on pills for —say a month or two. And then, with core,we yet may pull you through. Now, try and recollect what I have said. Add, last of all, be sure and shave your head.” "What!” cries the patient, “I, not yet in years. To stalk baldheaded through this vale of tears ! Not if I know it. This I cannot do, J o must decline, with all respect to yon. Besides, I am not dying, sir, not I ; I've other work before me than to die. ’ Tis true, just now I may be rather ill. But, sir, I have a mission to fulfil. Which lies amidst those small metallic dies. Whose daily impress meets a thousand eyes. Picked singly, they to lines and columns grow. And tell the nations all they wish to know, — And sometimes more. From them not yet I

part, Those signs and symbols of a noble art. So, doctor, patch me np with drug and pill, And such like staff, and—send your little bill.” And so the patient from the doctor glides. To feast on pills, and swallow draughts besides. But hark ! What means that low and muffled din ? Our players are impatient to begin. But let mo add, before I say adieu, I know our amateurs are safe with you. As once before, so now I feel again, Your kind indulgence is not sought in vain. The parts in the comedy were sustained with a care and painstaking accuracy which reflected the utmost credit on those concerned. Where all were so good, it would be invidious to select any specially for commendation, but the rendering of the parts of Cassidy, Major MoTavish and Lionel Leveret, by Messrs Henry, Hebden and Kitohin were worthy even of professionals. The lady characters, it is needless to say, were admirably filled, and the piece throughout was an entire success from first to last. The farce of "To Paris and Back for £5 ” concluded a most enjoyable evening’s entertainment. To-night, the same bill will be repeated.