LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2032, 28 August 1880, Page 3

LITERATURE.

LAWDON'S LOVE CASE. 'Won't do, young man ; won't do. If you wish to succeed in your profession you must abjure pretty girls, and wine and spirits, and all good things—including idleness ; and Oome round here, Lawson, and pay for two glasses, and I'll give you some more advice.' I told him I was going to follow what he had already given and abjure wine and spirits, when he laughed and walked awayj leaving me feeling as if I would have liked to kick him for reading my thought* and seeing the direotion of my looks. 1 suppose most young men feel the same strange mingling of shame and pride as I did at that time ; pride at loving so worthy au object, shame that it should be known. I had thought it the most profound of secrets, even to the lady herself ; and yet my eyes had betrayed it to old Roberts, the heavy man. Perhaps, too, they had betrayed my secret to the lady herself. I'm afraid I was very weak and boylßh. I am not sure of that; but I am sure that I could scarcely learn my parts for thinking of Boss Wilson, the fair, innocent, clever girl, who had lately joined the company of the Theatre Royal, Varterre. I am not going to inflict a description of her appearance. I have said that she was young and fair-let that suffice. For the first month I waß absolutely happy, living a new life in her prosence, and revelling in delight as I heard the applause which invariably greeted her efforts on the stage. But now I began to have misgivings, and a strange feeling of despair came upon me. The theatre filled more and more, the private boxes and the s 'jails were always taken, and the foremost places were occupied by men whose attraction was evidently the same as mine. Their plaudits were enthusiastic, and great bouquets of exotic 3 were flung on the stage, to be carried off by one who, I found to my horror, was fast growing to be a popular favourite. Perhaps I ought to _ have felt proud of her success—maybe I did ; but It was accompanied by a terrible feeling of depression ; for it seemed to me that every day she was being removed farther and and farther from my reach, I was no spy upon her actions, but I could not help seeing that notes and little packets were constantly being left for her at the stage door; and one day, in a fit of madness, after abutting myself up to study a part, I fell to reviling her, and called myself fool, idiot, and ass, for wasting my honest love upone one who was evidently becoming frivolous, if not worse. To me she was always gentle and kind. The little we had to do together was always pleasant, but as I met her eyes I could feel that there was no response to my passion. Still, I told myself with a sigh, that I ought to be happy, for she evidently liked mo, though every advance was checked with a quiet firmness that more and more won my respect. She used to come to the theatre with an elderly woman of the most repelling nature I ever met. _ She was a porfet dragon In petticoats, and it was a standing joke at the housa how firsb one and then another had been snubbed and set down by her. I verily believe, on one occasion, when I had eagerly proffered my services to see Rose home, I should havehad my earsjboxedhad I,'persisted; and, certainly I had to retire in anything but a dignified manner. . Time went on, and Rose's popularity seemed to increase, while I was no nearer to winning her than before; the consequence being that I was fast growing into a cynical misanthropist. If Rose waß not to be mine I was ready, at any cost, to stand in the way of others ; to add to my misery I found that one of the company—a fine, handsomelooking fellow, high in the manager's favor —was deeply struck with Rose. Everyone in the place admired her ; even those of her own sex were bo won over by her gentle ladylike ways, that after the jealousy of the first month or two there was not a soul who had not a kindly word, or who was not ready to sound her praises. But in Delmore (so he called himself upon the stage) I found that 1 had a dangerous rival; his far moie prominent position in the cast brought him constantly in contact with Rose, and

many a time the reality of their acting in some passionate love-scene has sent me home in a state of feverish deßpair. A hundred times over I determined to declare myself, and know my fate—whether there was hope for me in the future ; if not, I felt that I had better leave the house and seek my fortune elsewhere, for I know 1 was going backward in my profession ; and, at least, if I were away, I should be removed from the daily torture to which I was subjected. It was [so easy to plan, eo hard to carry into effect; whenever opportunity served me, I was disarmed by her gentle pleasant wajs; nothing could have been more friendly, but thfire was no love ; that she respected me I was sure ; and when, after vainly trying to spur myself on to speak, I failed, and we said good-bye, with her soft, cool little hand lying for a moment In mine, I felt that it would be an insult to her to raise it to my lips. Still I had some solace; while she was cold and quiet with others, her face always lit up at myfeoming ; we might not be able to apeak, but there was always a pleasant recognition to reward me for my genuine, heartfelt respect. Matters were getting wors*, and my state of torture unbearable. I could laugh at the over-drassed boys, who came night after night to the stalls, some of whom carried their folly to the extent of wearing flowers or gloves, or carrying handkerchiefs of the particular colors affected by Rose in the pieces in which sho played ; but the constant attendance of elderly men ciughfc my jaundiced eyes, and made me increase my jealous watchfulness lam afraid that I degenerated into a spy—who would not at aach a. time ? And very soon my attention was taken by a man of about fifty. He was not pleasant-looking, having one of those countenances with prominent, stronglymarked features ; and as I again and again watched his deeply-set eyes and thin gray hair, I sat him down as a man of strong passions and relentless At first I saw that he came two or three times a week—then he came regularly night by night, sitting always nearly in the same place ; and while those around were full of rapturous applause, which they discharged in volleys at the bright sweet girl upon the stage, he sat back in his stall with his arms folded across hia broad breast, watching every movement, and drinking in every word. That man fascinated me, and I watched him—hopefully at first, thinking in my jealous care that I had been mistaken ; but as the nights elided by it was tco plain he was, evidently Rose's most intense, and a? I judged it, dangerous admirer. Did she know her danger ? Young men of inventive minds, if set off in the right groove, are ready enough to imagine all sorts of horrors about the ladies of their choice. They dash away into realms of romance far wider than novelists' pen and paper, and I found myself believing in elopementa or abductions; in this stern dark-eyed man, whose eyes flashed beneath his thick gray brows, making his plans ; and in finding that some night Rose had been hurried into a brougham, and carried off, never to be seen again. Follies of this kind so haunted me that I became a kind of amateur detective, and in thls'role I found out that the]occupant of the stalls was a wealthy baronet, residing in a fashionable street near Lowndes square, and this strengthened my suspicions. Everyone who has read cheap novels knows what ultra-double-dyed villians your wealthy baronets are, and what noble names thoy bear—Sir Reginalds, or or the like ; unfortunately the baronet in question only bore the name of Dunton Green— Sir Dunton Green ; but what was in a name? He was evidently pursuing Rose, and I redoubled my watchfulness. I followed her and her duenna home, night by night, right to Ganonbury, and then crossed Loudon again back to Gamberwell, worn out but happy, for I had seen her safe. I waited about and followed them to the theatre at night, and whenever there was a rehearsal I endeavoured to perform the same duty ; it was always unobtrusively done, and I believe she was ignorant of the presence of her retiring escort; but let that rest. Matters grew worse. It waß evident that mine was a hopeless case, and my feelings may be guessed when, one night, after noticing with jealous eye a bright single diamond ring upon Rose's finger, as a rule quite free from ornamentation, I saw her without a doubt exchange glances with the dark, gray, elderly man in the stalls. I thought that I might have been mistaken, but it soon became evident to me that she was playing to him and him alone. I followed her home that night with a sickening sensation of despair at my heart, and then walked back to my sleepless bed, to lie tossing about, waiting impatiently for the next night to verify what I believed. It was too plainly verified then, and again and again, night after night, during which I suffered tortures ithat seemed unendurable. What should I do ?—try and warn her against the danger ? I tried, and as I met her sweet grey, innocent eyes, and watched the play of her candid lips, I was disarmed, and could not speak a word. A month went by, during which time if I had any doubt before of the influence Sir Dunton Green possessed, it was entirely removed. Moreover, I found that Frank Delmore was furiously jealous, and had loudly proclaimed his intention of putting a stop to the coming of this man. I went to the theatre one day to a rehearsal, and, after meeting most of the company upon the stage, I had occasion to go back to my dressing-room, when, on entering the passages of the great, dark, wandering place, I suddenly heard voi es, and the next instant became aware of the fact that Frank Delmore was speaking in an angrv voice. ' How dare 1 1 ' he said ;' I tell you I won't have It. He cornea there every night, and I've seen you make eyes at - ' ' Mr Delmore, let me pass, sir, this instant!' exclaimed a voice which thrilled me.

' Not till you have promised me that There, it's no use to struggle, I ' ■ Oh, this is insufferable—help !' How it happened I cannot tell, but, as I heard that appealing voice, and the cry for help, all tho blood in my body seemed to run to my head, except a little that began to trickle from my knuckles, as I stood over Frank Delmore, quivering with passion, and with Roße dinging to my arm. 'Take me home please, Mr Lawdon,' she said, in a hysterical voioe. Take her home 1 Spite of all I knew I'd have gone to the world's end to serve her ; and as she drew down her veil, and Delmore began to gather himself up in a half-stunned fashion, I hurried her out of the stage-door and into the street. ' Ellis was coming for me in a couple of hcurs,' she faltered, after a few minutea' silence, during which she had been sobbing bitterly, every sob going right to my heart ; * I must go home at once; please don't apeak to me ; yon know where I live.' I started slightly at this, though I might have known she had seen me ; and, obeying her wishes as to silence, I walked with her to Candnbury square, with her little hand resting trustingly on my arm the whole way. As we reached the house I saw the ill favored lady who was her companion at the window, and directly after she came to the door, when Rose threw up her veil. ' Good-bye, Mr lawdon,' she said, gazing full in my eyes, and holding out her hand ; ' good-bye ; I BhaU never forget your kindness.' * Good-bye,' I said quietly, for I felt bitter at heart; ' don't say any more.' As I spoke I turned sharply round, and hurried away, but, in spite of myself, I could not help turning, as I reached the corner of the square and seeing her and Ellis still at the open door looking after me Of course there was no rehearsal for me that afternoon, and at night I found that there were notices up announcing the indisposition of Miss Rose Wilson. * A Boonndrel!' I muttered, of course meaning Delmore ; and as the words passed my lips, I met him ready to give mo a very peculiar smile with his swollen lips, and j directly after I received a summons to the lessee's room, where from him and_ the ' manager I received my immediate dismissal. I was too young and proud then to stipulate for fulfiment of engagements, especially as I was told that I was an encumbrance to tho company. I read the name Delmore between every word that was uttered, and went my way home to my lodgings. The next day I was in a very strange frame of mind. 1 loved Rose more than ever now, and, in spite of what I knew, I determined to go and see her, confess my honest love for her, and ask for her own sake, if not for mine, to be warned in time. I told myself that I was mad, but I was too much infatuated to stop, and the look she had on the previous day given me had completed my slavery. It was some time though before I could summon courage to call, and when I did venture it was to encounter Mrs Ellis, who told me 1 that Miss Wilson had gone away.

' Will you give me her address ?' I said. •No.' 'As you like,' I said quietly ; 'I can meet • her as she goes to the theatre.' Mrs Ellis looked at me with a grim strange gaze, and feeling it was useless to persuade, I went away. That night I took my seat in the pit, in a position where I could nea Sir Dunton Green ; but before I had been seated many minutes I caught sight of the notice that Mis 3 Bore Wilson would not appear. I waited, though, to see if Sir Dnnton Green arrived, but he did not; neither did he appear at the house during the whole week, during which time I found from friends that Rose had left the theatre for good. • Frank Delmore's mad about it, they say, for she has gone off with that old fellow who used to sit in the middle of the stalls.' How I parted from my friend I don't know. The next thing I recollect is finding myself at my lodgings, and for six weeks I was too ill to leave.

During those horrible weeks of trouble, Rose had never been out of mind. I had raved against her, cursed her, sworn I would never look upon her face again, and ended by making up my mind to find her out, no matter where she was, and offering her—with my passionate, faithful love—full forgiveness of the past and a honest name. I had upbraided myself, called myself weak, and told myself that such conduct would be base; but there was an unconque-able, forgiving love, ready to master all opposition, and directly I had the the search begau. I had anticipated terrible difficulties in the way, but there were none; for, on going straight to Lowndes fquare, a servant gave me Sir Dunton's address at Worthing, and I went down at one a.

It was a delicious spring evening when X stood there by the sea—heart-sick and exhausted, and the msonlit waters, that plashed musically upon the strand, sounding so melancholy that, in my weak state from the past illnesß, I felt as if I could ait down and sob like a woman.

I had eaten nothing since morning, for I could think of nothing but Rose; and at last I stood in frott of the house where I believed her to be. Even then I ftit that I should be bifHed, for Dnnton would certainly have hidden her away. Perhaps this was only a falsa scent. To my surprise, though, as I stood in front of the garden, holding on by the iron railing. I heard the sound of a piano, and through the open French window came Roße's voiee—bo sweet, and pure,and clear—singing the little ballad ' Coquette.' Mr first impulse was to enter at once ; but I stood listening till the last note seeine 1 ta throb on the soft night air, and then, with a bitterness of spirit that seemed intensified, I told myself that she was but a vain weak coquette, without a woman's heart, and that I had wrecked my best feelings upon a barren strand; ' But I'll have her in spite of all,' I said ; and, swingiog open the gate, I walked sharply across the little lawn right into ths well lit room, when Sir Datton Green started up from a lounge, as Rose uttered a cry of alarm.

' Mr Lawdon I' she cried holding out her hands.

* Yes,' I said hoarsely; ' this i 3 no placa for you, Bose. Come with me—for God's sake, come—and let the past be dead.' 'Mr Lawdon!' she s»id, shrinking back, but I held her hand tightly in my own. 'How dare you, sir!' cried Sir Dunton fiercely, advancing ; 'is the man mad ?' • Stand bsck, you cowardly villain !' I roared furiously, and I made at him; but Rose now clung to me, increasing my fury though as Sir Dunton and I closed. A shriek from the door arrested us both, acd I saw a pleasant-faced old lady hurry in, to whom Rose hnrrled in alarm, but only to turn again to me. ' Take Lady Green out with you,' said my adversary, * and send for the police.' ' L*dy Green !' I stammered, as my hands foil to my side; ' there is some mistake.'

* Mistake V said Sir Dunton, angrily; ' I think so, indeed.' ' Oh, yes, yes.' cried Rose, eagerly, as she canght my hand j 'it is all a mistake. Mr Lawdon, why have you come? Sir Dunton and Lady Green are my dearest friends.' I looked from one to the other in a dazed helpless fashion, with their faces growing bleared and seeming to £wi—. round ; and then I have some notion of muttering, ' I!l—----water,' and all was blank. When I came to, I was lying on the floor, with my head'upon a cushion and Rose waa kneeling by me, holding my hand, while I read that In her eyes which told me that there was hope for me after all. And now, for the first time, I recognised in ILady Green the pleasant face of one whom I had often seen in the stalls ; and by degrees the explanation came when Sir Dunton and I were left alone. I felt no shame then to tell him of my honest love, but it was not until he had related to me how both he and Lady Green had been taken with Roue, and her strange resemblance to the daughter they had lost. How, after inquiries, they had asked her to their place, and ended by offering her a home if she would quit the stage. This had been for some time refused, but Delmore's insult had sent her to them, and hence my blunder. 'And now then, Mr Lawdon,' said the old gentleman frankly, * since you look upon me as such a scoundrel, what ought I to do?'

' Forgive me, sir, for I love her with all my heart.' My answer was a warm pressure of his hand, while, before I left them that night for an hotel, Rose's faltering wortfs told me that there was a spark alreasy kindled — that it was my fault if it were not fanned into a flame.